I didn't think remarriage or love was in the near future for me. I have been single for about 6 years. I was dating, but didn't think I was going to find a companion any time soon. However, I wasn't dating the guys who were looking to be married. I was dating the guys that were looking for a good time, no commitments and whatever was convenient for them in the moment.
Lets see, there was the "milkman", who worked for Winder Dairy. Our first date was to Music and the Spoken Word. He was nice, but no real connection for me. He would randomly text me after months of not talking to see if I wanted to go out. Then there was Rocky Mountain...he worked for Rocky Mountain Power. He was an outdoorsman and athletic. He was always running or playing volleyball. I liked to WATCH sports, but I wasn't as big on playing all different sports. We weren't a match. And then, there was the Nurse. He was mean and degrading. I did everything I could to not make him mad or to disrupt what he wanted to do. No matter what problem arose, he was never to blame. It was everyone else. I dated a few other guys that were fun to hang out with and I would rearrange my schedules to hang out with them, but I would never get that in return from them. I was just a thing of convenience. They were attractive and fun and had LOTS of girls at their disposal. I finally had to take a look at the kind of men I was dating. I always dated guys that deep down I knew I would never marry. I think I was afraid of being loved, afraid of failing at marriage again since I was so great at it the first time around, afraid of being who I knew I was but not being accepted for it. As I started to recognize the things I did to sabotage myself, I began to change. I began to look for guys that had traits I wanted in an eternal companion. I started to see myself worth increase. I began to believe I was good enough to deserve the type of man I knew I wanted to have in my life. One who would value me as much as I did him.
Then, one night online I saw Rex. As I read his profile, I liked it. He seemed honest and sincere. I thought he was cute and had a good sense of humor. But then there it was....He was a widower. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, but I didn't really think I would get serious with him. I mean, this was one of my first attempts at actually talking to a "good" guy. We communicated online for a little bit and then we finally met. Ironically, he came to the same office building I worked in for work himself periodically. We started dating. He met my daughter and I met his kids. Things got more serious & we decided to date exclusively. I remember thinking that I might need to break it off with him because I wasn't sure how I felt about marrying a widower. I also remember my mother giving me some of the best advice I have received..she told me not to let my fear take away my happiness. I needed to give him a fair shot to see if he was truly someone I could spend my life with. I took that to heart. I saw the kind of man he was. He wasn't just in this relationship for himself. He actually cared about me and wanted to take care of me and my needs. He was exactly what I was looking for. And then one day...we were picking out rings, tuxes and dresses, planning a wedding and looking for houses. I can't imagine my life without this guy!! He is kind, funny, loving, accepting, a provider, my best friend, spiritual, intelligent, handsome...and I could go on, but I think you get the picture! But if not, here is one you can look at !!
I never knew that someone could be so loving and complete me so fully. I didn't really know what a marriage was before. My first marriage wasn't an example of what a loving, fulfilling relationship should have been. Heavenly Father has plan. I am convinced more of that now than I ever have been. Nothing happens by chance. It is all part of His divine plan for us. He loves us and wants to be happy. I am so excited to start my life with this guy, and our kids, and our families. I'm thankful for the opportunity I have been given to be married. I feel extremely blessed to have found you, REX! You are the perfect match for me! I love you!!
I said YES!!
