Updated: Blended Families Part 3

Here we are again...another year gone by and more lessons learned in the world of blending families.

We have been married for 3 years now.  This year has had it's up and downs too.  I feel like this year has been smoother in most aspects.  Everyone knows the rules and has their own space.  They are integrated into their schools and social lives.  They are thriving and are such great kids.  Rex and I always comment on how our kids have been through so many hard things and yet, they are great kids.  They don't have major issues, just the normal growing pains.  They might be intensified by their losses, but they are amazing and always find a way to cope.  We feel so lucky to be their parents.

This year our oldest daughter, Lucy, graduated from high school and left for college.  This totally changed the dynamic of our home.  She was the most responsible one.  The one who helped and nurtured our youngest the most.  She was the one we knew we could rely on.  BUT...it was time for her to start her own journey, which we are thrilled for.  She has been looking forward to this for a long time and we know she will do great!

The other kids are adapting to life without Lucy.  They are building their relationships with each other much more.  They are coming closer and learning more about one another, which doesn't always result in happy endings.  There is still teasing and fighting and learning that they aren't always right, but I would say that overall they are doing great!  Cole is now the oldest child at home and he has taken that role on willingly and does what he can to help his siblings and us, the parents as they like to call us!  Kaylie is becoming the fun sibling that Cecelia needs and entertains her and does fun things with her.  Cecelia is growing up quickly.  She is curious about the things around her, which sometimes gets her into trouble because she is always wanting to try new things!  There are small changes in the household like chore charts and other household responsibilities, bedtimes, who gets to stay home and watch Cecelia instead of going out with their friends, and who gets to pray or read scriptures AGAIN since you just did it at the first of the week, but it's your turn again.

Rex is amazing as always.  His patience with all of this is almost superhuman.  He is constantly building me up and helping me through the challenges of life.  We still make all of our decisions together...kids, house, work, everything really.  It makes it easy to support each other and our family because we both have ownership of the life we are building together.  I know that doesn't work in everyone's situation, but for us that has been essential.

We are excited to see what great things are to come this year!  We feel lucky to have so much love and support from our families and friends!!  This blended family business is challenging at times, but it is so worth it every day!!  Here's to another year!!!

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Heather

15th Birthday

This girl is officially 15!!  She brings soo much joy into our family.  She is happy, kind and loves a good blanket...no serious....she has 14 of them!  Her favorite gift this year was her new Minky Couture pineapple blanket! She is getting ready to take her drivers test to get her learners permit (WHAT?!?!?!), busy dancing her way through life and squeezing in as much time with her friends as she can!  We are so proud of you Kaylie!  We can't wait to see what great things you are going to accomplish!! 

Happy Birthday!!!!

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Heather

4th First Date

It's that time again...the time when we get to celebrate our first date EVER!!  We are so thankful that we found each other.  With all the crazy of 4 kids and real lives, we think its important to take the time to celebrate us and our relationship.  So we went back to the place where it all started.  Dinner and taking in some us time at City Creek.  Simple, but fun to reminisce how WE came to be!

So thankful for this guy and all of the happiness he brings into my life!  Love you more every day Goodman 💜


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Heather

Family Pictures 2018

Each year we do this...each year there is finding a photographer, (we used Whitney Charles Photography...and she was FABULOUS!!!)....planning color schemes...coordinating outfits....searching till the last minute to find things to wear....less than excited husbands....kids crying....kids making faces or scowling....laughing...You all know what I'm talking about.  Family pictures are not what they look like in the final project...but we do them.

We do them for the memories....

We do them for the good times we remember when we aren't posing for the camera....

We do them to remember what otherwise we would forget...

We do it to remember the different stages of life our kids, nieces and nephews go through...my nephew is cuter than your nephew!!  😉.....

We do it to remember the photobombing teenagers....

Mostly we do it to remember the loves of our lives...the precious moments and memories we share with these beautiful people we share our lives with ❤

And somehow at the end of all of the chaos and the tantrums and the smiles, we are left with something beautiful...something we can cherish for a lifetime.

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Heather

It's Baptism Day!!

There have been so many special moments for our family over the last couple of weeks.  And today...we get to celebrate one more!!  Today is Cecelia's baptism day.  In our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, when we turn 8, we get to choose if we want to become a member.  If we do, we are able to be baptized and make a promise to Heavenly Father that we will follow His commandments and try to follow the example of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  Also on that special day, we receive a gift from Heavenly Father, the gift of the Holy Ghost...he gets to be with us all the time!  He helps us to know what is right in all the things we do.

Cecelia has decided to become the newest member of our ward and be baptized.  She is so excited to be baptized.  She was able to choose whether Dad or Cole was going to baptize her...and she chose Dad.  She also decided that she wanted to wear Kaylie's baptism dress since she wore Lucy's for her pictures.  She is so excited that her friends and family are going to be there to watch her....she is also hoping that her mom, Jeni will be there too.  I told her I thought she would be.

After her baptism, as she was coming out of the font, she looked at me and said, "Mom, its soo cool that my old mom got to see that!"  We're all so glad we got to be a part of this special day!!  Cecelia we love you and are so excited for you to continue to grow and learn more about our Savior Jesus Christ and His ministry.   Happy Baptism Day sweet girl!!

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Heather

Families are Forever

Today is one of my most favorite days!!  Ever since she was born, I hoped for a day when I would get to have my daughter sealed to me forever!!  As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we believe that we can be with our families forever.  Through the sacred ordinance of sealing, we can have this blessing for our family....and today was that day!

It was such a special experience to have all of our children in the temple with us for the event.  We were all able to participate in Kaylie's sealing.  The temple workers were incredible and were so excited to have children in the temple, since most times the youth are only there to do baptisms for the dead, which is in a different part of the temple.  Our kids felt like royalty and were definitely treated that way!  They had their own special changing rooms and things to do while they waited for Rex and I to get ready.  Then we were able to meet together in the special sealing rooms.  We all dressed in white.  We all felt the Holy Ghost.  We all knew that this was God's will for us.  He loves us and wants us to be happy and return to Him someday to live as families with Him.

After the sealing, we of course took pictures outside of the temple.  Then we went home and had pizza with our family who came to witness this special time in our lives.  We laughed and ate and enjoyed the time we had to spend together.  Families are a gift from heaven.  They are there to celebrate the good times and help us through the bad times.  They are what brings meaning to our lives!  We are so thankful for all of the love and support we get from our families.

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Heather

If you want to learn more about our church...click on the link here.

Spring Break 2018

This is the last Spring Break before our daughter heads off to college.  We offered a few choices of where we might go for spring break and she chose to see 4 National Parks; Kolob Canyon, Bryce Canyon, Capitol Reef and Canyonlands National Park.  They were awesome!!  So amazing that these places exist....Beautiful beyond belief!!  Make sure to see the petroglyphs in Canyonlands at Newspaper Rock.  We all loved seeing those.  Amazing that they have survived this long!!

We decided to get the America the Beautiful Pass.  It's basically a year of unlimited access to any National Park.  It was $80, but well worth it.  It saved us time when entering the parks and we only had to pay once!  If you are visiting enough parks to make it worth buying then you definitely should.  They sell them at most of the visitor's centers.  I have linked the website to the pass above that you can check out and see where to buy them!!

We did 4 parks in 5 days with 4 kids, 2 parents stuffed into a Toyota Highlander, 24 hrs of driving, 2 stopping places and LOTS of fun!!  The kids were great!  I prepared ahead of time with some car games.  I found some great websites, Landeelu.com and Mum in the Madhouse for some games to play while driving.  And of course we played some of the classics..the alphabet game, the name game using the alphabet, and the license plate game, which we found all but 12 states!  Everyone wanted Hawaii, but no luck!!  We even drove around the outlook parking places looking for different license plates!!  We had a lot of fun just being together and seeing all of the beautiful landscapes of the national parks!  We had to stop at the Visitor's Center of each park and get a window sticker for our oldest to put on her hydroflask.  Of course there was time for sleeping and also for using their electronics.  I did like that most of the time there was no cell service.  It really gave us a chance to interact and spend uninterrupted time together!  Here are a few of the sites.....

Kolob Canyon

Bryce Canyon

Mesa Arch at Canyonlands

Capitol Reef

It was so much fun to hang out with our kiddos and make some memories!!  I treasure each family vacation we take.  Not only do we get to see cool things, we get to grow closer together as a family and build our family relationships.  If you read my blog you know that we are a blended family.  It is essential to me to spend as much time together as we can.  We only have a few short years to live all in the same place & build our relationships so these times are priceless to me!  Love this family of mine!!

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Heather

An Attitude of Gratitude

I've been looking for something to help bring a positive feeling into our home and to get everyone in the spirit of Thanksgiving this year.  So of course I turned to Pinterest!  There are so many great ideas out there.  I decided that I would make it really simple in hopes that we would all follow through and it would be meaningful in some way to each of us!


I decided to make a Gratitude Jar and leave little note size papers next to the jar so we could write down what we are thankful for each day.  I kept it REALLY simple and just made a little tag and tied a piece of ribbon around the jar and put it on our counter where we will see it every day! I told the kids to write down something they are thankful for each day.  They were asking how many they could do a day...I think they might be writing some crazy things down, but I'm glad they are still getting involved and hopefully by the time Thanksgiving rolls around we can have enough to read and remember over the month that we are very blessed.  Love those kids!! 💛


Super easy right!!!??  I've included a free printable, but I kinda changed mine up...so it looks a little different than the picture of my jar! 
What are your traditions for bringing an attitude of gratitude into your homes??

"A grateful heart … comes through expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His blessings and to those around us for all that they bring into our lives."   --President Thomas S. Monson

Free Printable Here

Update: Blending Families

I've been thinking a lot about how blending our family is going.  Its been 2 years since we began this journey.  We've had our ups and downs.  Learning from and with each other.  But, overall, I think we are doing a pretty great job!  The picture below is us on the 4th of July...we're all smiling right...so things must be good!!

In the beginning, parenting was difficult.  Learning how to parent other kids and them learning our different styles of parenting took some time.  But we were consistent in our expectations and made it the same for each of them.   Teaching them why they were given certain learning opportunities (our kids like to see them as punishments however) in different circumstances was also a learning curve. Each child is different and one way of doing something doesn't always work for every child however.....am I right??  😉 So we've had to adapt to that.  We also showed them that we stood together as a team and that no matter what we were going to support each other as parents and spouses.  I think that helped them to understand that they couldn't put us at odds as a couple and play us against each other. If we had a difference of opinion on how to handle something we would talk together and then make a decision together.  We also let our kids voice their opinions or reasons they disagreed with us and then consider their thoughts.  Sometimes we changed their 'punishment' and sometimes we didn't and we would explain why.  I think that helped them know that we value their input even if the outcome was the same.  We gave them a chance to speak. 

We have made an effort to do things together as a family.  We have been on a few family vacations and travelled for baseball and dance competitions.  We play games together, eat dinner together each night, we do nightly family scripture reading and prayers together, and our family home evening once a week.  We give the kids opportunities to work together on projects.  We have finally gotten into a groove with those things and I feel like we are on the right track.

I think it was a great idea to move into a new house.  Everyone had the opportunity to make their own space and place in the house.  No one had claims to any place previously and we all adapted to a new life in a new place.  We all lived upstairs while our basement was being finished and it was a little cramped, but I hope it helped grow the bonds of our new blended family.  We haven't displayed pictures of the deceased parents in the common areas of the house, but we have given each child the choice to have those things in their rooms.  The balance between moving on, but still remembering those good times and people is a funny thing.  Some of the kids tell us when they need support in those areas and other kids handle their emotions on there own.  I hope they know they can share feelings and memories they have!  We have taken some old furniture for comfort and some new things to define our style together as a family.  That has worked well.

Our children are wonderful.  They have taken this blending families thing in stride and have each made an effort to make everyone feel loved and cared for.  There are definitely times when each of them feel picked on or that they don't fit in the family.  We have had to talk through some of that and have had counseling sessions for them and continue to try to be as open as we can about things.  I think our choice to make decisions together and parent like a normal 2 parent household has really helped the strength and unity of our family, and really we are the only 2 parents our kids have now (see my previous post about helping your child grieve).  The kids have been great with one another.  If they recognize someone is going through a hard time they try to be nicer in their own ways or help out if they are asked.  I try to give them little notes of encouragement or let them know when I appreciate something they have done or noticed their efforts in trying to help another sibling.  I hope they can see my love for them through those small acts.

We are still working on our relationships every day.  We aren't finished and we know that this will be a lifetime work in progress, but we wouldn't change it.  We are loving watching our kids grow up and experience things.  Its hard to believe that our oldest will graduate high school in the spring and will leave our home, but we are confident that she will succeed and we will be there for her every step of the way.  That's what families do right?  They encourage and support both in times of trials and in times of joy.  I am so thankful to our Heavenly Father who has been there every step of the way.  He has strengthened us, buoyed us up when we felt like quitting and has provided so many answers and little every day miracles that have assisted us in building our family.  This blended family of ours is the source of our greatest happiness.  

Family Picures 2017

I don't know about you, but there is something about Family pictures that I LOVE!!  I love to see the changes in our family from year to year.  I love the memories we make when we are taking them and the fun they seem to be...mostly!  What session wouldn't be complete without the shedding of a few tears right!  😉  I am really lucky to have one of the best cousins in the world, who just happens to take amazing pictures!  I mean...check them out!

When I'm thinking of what I want the theme to be for the year, I spend LOTS of time on Pinterest or other friends photos.  I'm looking at color schemes and poses and locations.  This year I wanted a more rustic feel.  So we chose more muted colors like navy, black and jeans.  My cousin picked the location with these cool rustic barns and an old silo.  And for fun, my mom wanted to do something with Santa hats and ugly sweaters...I added the lights and we barely had time to snap a few quick ones with the kids before it got dark! 


Whatever your family photos are, do them!  Make memories and capture the changes in your family for years to  come.  Family pictures are a MUST for me!  I don't want to miss a chance to watch our family grow up!! 

Bear Lake for the Day

This year for our end of the summer family vacation we all decided to go to Bear Lake.  The kids have never been there and I haven't been since I was a kid!  So we packed them up and took a trip!  We actually stayed in Paradise, UT because we have a family home there and also because I didn't realize it was Raspberry Days in Garden City and there were no hotel rooms available at a reasonable price!  But it was only an hour drive from Paradise to Garden City, so you can't beat free!  Even if there is a little more of a drive!!


We started our day off at Minnetonka Cave.  We had heard so many great things about this stop.

It did not disappoint!  3 out of our 4 kids had never been to a cave before and they didn't know what to expect.  They loved the rock formations and the history of the cave.  Our tour guide, Kinzi, was awesome!  She answered questions and gave us a great understanding of the cave.  Their favorite part was being able to touch the 1 rock that you're allowed to touch in the whole cave!  Their least favorite part???...They all forgot jackets and it was a toasty 40 degrees in the cave!!  And 888 stairs!  And they are slick!  We all took our share of almost falling on our bottoms!!  Overall, what a great time spent at Minnetonka Cave!


The next stop on our trip was actually on the way down from the cave on the Minnetonka Cave Road, Blue Pond Springs.  Its just a little turn off on the main road...if you blink you might miss it!!

It was a fun little shallow pond.  It was literally 2 mins off of the road and beautiful.  It was clear and clean.  Very easy to see the bottom of the pond and fun to skip rock across.  We only stayed for a short time.  We had heard there was a moose that likes to frequent this pond and bask in the sunshine.  Unfortunately for us, there were no moose sightings!  But still a nice place to visit.


Next stop...Paris Ice Cave!!  We have been told so much about this place too!  Some of our friends told us about this quaint little place when we told them we were going to Bear Lake.  They told us how much their kids enjoyed it and how cool (literally) it was when they entered the cave.  Another friend told me that her Grandfather used to go to that cave back in the day and actually carve ice out of it to take home for his freezer.





I honestly wasn't expecting that there would still be snow there, BUT there was!  And it was definitely cooler in the cave.  There are 2 parts to this cave...the first one is the room you walk into from the outside, which has a big opening in the rock so its only a partial "cave".  You can then make your way around some other rocks to a small opening where it then opens up to another room with more ice and snow.  Keep in mind if you are going to do that, be sure to wear clothes you don't care if they get a little dirty and wet.  And its slick!  There is still a lot of ice covering the unsteady rocks ( and this is August people!!) so BE CAREFUL!  I loved this place and knowing a little bit of history of the cave.  It isn't a guided tour cave so it made it a little more fun to be able to see it at our leisure!  The drive to it took about 45 mins up Paris Canyon and not right off of the main road, but it was worth the drive.  The top of the cave was covered in wildflowers and grasses.  Very pretty!


Next on our list, and my favorite part of the day, was Bloomington Lake.  This fun place is about 12 miles up Bloomington Canyon.  The road is very rough and is dirt the entire way.  It is a popular spot to go so there was a lot of traffic & the roads are narrow.  It took us about an hour to get up to the trailhead, but it was Raspberry Days so I am sure there were many more people than normal.  It was about a half mile hike into the lake.  The trail is fairly easy though & our 7 year old made it with ease!  But check out this view.....

It was so beautiful...this picture does not do it justice!  The rock cliffs behind it..the clear water...all of the green grass and wildflowers.  And snow!!  It was so amazing!  This is quite the place for kayaking, paddle boarding, swimming, cliff diving...and there is even a rope swing.  Although there were many people there, it didn't feel over crowded to me.  There was plenty of space to enjoy some time with your family.  I could have spent all day there.  It was really fun!!


Last stop of the day was Garden City.  We took advantage of being in the place with the world famous Bear Lake strawberries and ate at the Quick N Tasty and of course had the raspberry shake!  Then we walked around the town days booths and stopped at the beach to take in some of the lake!  Because, that is what we came for!!

It was beautiful, peaceful and relaxing!  The kids had a blast just playing in the water & sitting around talking after a long day of exploring!  I had forgotten how blue the lake is.  And I seem to remember it being very cold...but not so much this time!  It was perfect!




This was the perfect getaway for a quick trip!  I definitely want to come back to Bear Lake!  Its so close and well worth the time to take in all of the beautiful scenery and fun small town feel.  I have so much fun with this family of mine and I can't wait to plan the next trip!  He's having fun...I promise!!

Here is a video of our trip!



Happy Easter

I love Easter!  I love the sweetness that it brings.  Not the peeps and chocolate or the candy kind.  Those are all great, but the real sweetness is the gift our Savior, Jesus Christ gave to us.  He Lives!  He was resurrected and because he was resurrected so can we be. 


President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said, "On Easter Sunday we celebrate the most long-awaited and glorious event in the history of the world. It is the day that changed everything. On that day, my life changed. Your life changed. The destiny of all God’s children changed. When I think of what the Savior did for us leading up to that first Easter Sunday, I want to lift up my voice and shout praises to the Most High God and His Son, Jesus Christ! The gates of heaven are unlocked! The windows of heaven are opened! Today and forevermore, God’s grace is available to all.”

I am so thankful for my knowledge of the Savior.  I am so grateful that he suffered for my sins so that I can be forgiven.  I am so happy that I get to live again with my family, that I will be able to see all those who have gone before me again.  I rejoice in the Savior and our Father in Heaven who loved us so much that they found a way for us to return to live with them again.  I love the peace and happiness that come from the gospel.  I know that He lives, that He loves us, and that He wants to help us.


#BecauseHeLives  https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2015-04-1010-he-lives-celebrate-easter-because-jesus-christ-lives?lang=eng

The Leprechauns came to visit

St. Patrick's Day came with some fun surprises!  Those silly Leprechauns moved our furniture around, sprinkled Leprechaun dust and left their footprints on our seats, BUT they also left us some yummy treats!!!!  Chocolate, Lucky Charms and some Leprechaun Floats!

For dinner we ate in green food style..sandwiches on GREEN rolls, GREEN grapes, KIWI, GREEN Caesar salad and Shamrock Shakes from McDonalds!  Fun night celebrating together as a family. 


I sure enjoy the time we spend around the dinner table sharing our experiences of the day, laughing and being together over a good meal.  I find that some of our best conversations are had here.  I hope our children will treasure this time we get to spend together...if not now, maybe they will appreciate it later when they are grown and have children themselves....after all, "The fondest memories are made when gathered around the table."

Brighton 2016

This year we got the opportunity to stay up at Brighton Ski Resort in a cabin with my sister and her family.  It was just an overnight trip, but it was just what the doctor ordered!  Lots of R & R, games, laughter and some snowshoeing....and food....LOTS of food!!  Kaylie and I were the only ones in our family that had been snowshoeing before!  And we LOVE it!  It was fun to sharing something we like with the rest of our family who hadn't done it before.  I think for the most part everyone enjoyed it!  We snowshoed around Brighton on the flat part of the lake.  Cecelia had a bit of a hard time because she doesn't like to walk that far, but even she soldiered through with us having her strike a pose for a photo when she was getting a little tired!

It was a beautiful day for snowshoeing!!  The sun was out and it wasn't too cold!  What I loved most was spending time with my sister and her family, my mom, my brother-in-law's sister and her family, his mom and my cute little family.  I love the memories we make together and I hope they last a lifetime.  It's important to have memories as a family and I love making them with my crew!

No trip with my sister is complete without a group selfie!!

Sleeping baby!  Man did he ever work hard up there on Dad's back!  Cute Owen!

The scenery!  If you haven't experienced Utah in the winter...its a MUST DO!

The kids at the finish line!  They all made it!  YAY!!!

The adults have to pose too!

Love this fun family of mine!!!  If you've never been to Brighton or never snowshoed...you should!  It's a blast and something the entire family can do!!  Happy shoeing!!

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Heather

Valentines 2016

This year for Valentine's Day we decided we would surprise our Gram!!  We snuck over to her house when we knew she wouldn't be home and we wrote messages to her on paper hearts and left her favorite ice cream, Baskin Robbins Nutty Coconut, for her in the freezer!  She absolutely loved it!  And she was completely surprised!!

Happy Valentine's Day Gram!!


What are your Valentine's Day traditions??

Happy New Year 2016

Happy New Year Everybody!  We were lucky enough to have these 3 home with us right after midnight!  Love them and their craziness!!  Excited to see what this year brings for all of us!!

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Heather

Blending Families

We are happy.  We are marrying the person with don't want to live without.  We are in love.  We are also blinded slightly by this said love!  You see, we have 3 teenage children, ages 15, 13, and 12, and 1 little, age 5.  We love them.  We love each other.  They all love each other...don't they?  Wait!!!!...They barely know each other and the new 'step' parent....this is all going to work out right...the 'happily ever after' we wanted??  Whose idea was this anyway??  I'm sure that is how many people feel.  And the thought did cross my mind!

We are not naive to the fact that we are trying to blend families with teenagers, and That.Is.Hard!  No matter how great the kids are (and ours are), it is difficult to take 2 families and make them one.  Especially in circumstances like ours...one parent lost to a horrible disease-cancer...and the other to divorce and drugs.  Our children have already been through some really difficult times.  And now, they have another challenge to handle....a blended family.

I read once that it takes 5 years to blend a family.  5 years??  That is a lifetime.  There are routines and the way they used to do it and the way you used to do it...and new roles to learn....and the hierachy of the new family....and the way discipline is handled.....and having a 2 parent household again....and traditions....and extended families....and how do you incorporate the missing parents...is anyone else feeling overwhelmed yet?  And all that comes after the marriage, but....What about where will  you live? Will they have to attend new schools?  Make new friends?  There is alot to consider when blending families.

This topic has been stressful for Rex and I to navigate through.  We have had many discussions on how we are going to handle these issues.  We had a struggle about where we were going to live.  I wanted to stay where I was and what my daughter was used to and he had promised his children that they would not have to move after their mother passed away.  It was something he felt very strongly about.  I was so conflicted with that decision.  We looked at houses in both places, but mostly closer to him.  When we found our house, I knew it was the right place for us to be.  We were under contract for another house, but that fell through when the square footage was off and they would not lower their price...so we began looking again.  When we found this house, it just felt right.  We knew this was the place we needed to be.  I'm sure it will be a blessing to all of us.  Only time will tell that!

As far as all of the other struggles for blending families, we have decided to parent together.  This may be hard in the beginning for everyone to adjust to, but we feel that we have to make decisions together and stand united so that we can be a stronger foundation for our children and so they can also see what a family unit looks like.  I'm sure there will be some struggles with this, especially when discipline is concerned, but we are going to take it day by day and then evaluate how its working for us and adjust as needed.  We have tried to incorporate a little of the old for each child both in structure and decor and then some new that pulls our new family together.

We have contact with our extended families as well as our past spouses families and we are working to build relationships with them and keep our kids as involved in those relationships as they want.  Distance is an issue, but we are working on keeping an open line of communication for all that want to be involved.  And I must say...we are so blessed.  We have some of the most caring people in our families & extended families.  We could not be happier with the support we have received.

The last thing that weighs on my mind is that if it really does take 5 years to blend a family, our children will be moved out before then.  Our oldest only has 3 years left at home before she leaves for college and is out on her own.  How I love these kids I've been blessed with to have in my family.  I hope in that short time I can develop lasting relationships and instill in them my love for each one of them.  I struggle with the fact that I will be coming into their lives during some of the most difficult times they will endure which may require some of that discipline we were just talking about.  I don't want them  to see that as punishment, but more as guidance because I care about them.  I want them to know that I love them and that I am there for them through anything they are going through.

Raising kids is hard and sometimes being a step parent is even harder!!  But we have to keep loving and keep hoping and keep trying even through those times of wanting to give up!  I have to think there will be some of those days for all of us out there!  Our 'Happily Ever After' can come though, through hard work, prayer and persistence.  I'm grateful for this new family and look forward to the new adventures together!

I am a Stepmother..and I love it!!

I am a stepmom to 3 amazing kids!  I feel blessed to be a part of their lives.  I love them all.  Lucy is a gifted piano player, an academic wiz and has a classic Audrey Hepburn style.  Cole is kind, he has a way to make everyone feel comfortable and accepted, he is athletic and respectful and gives his all in everything he does.  Cecelia...she is fun and carefree, her laugh is infectious and she is all about having fun, but she's 6...who could blame her!




I have all these great feelings about these kids and want them to be successful grown ups.  However, that doesn't change the fact that its hard to be a stepparent.  I am still not their mother.  They don't want me to be, they don't need me to be her.  They never planned for me or expected me.  Maybe they see me as an outsider trying to take her place, as someone who will take over the responsibilities of the house and taking care of the younger sibling and their father, maybe as someone to take them dress shopping or to baseball or maybe they see me as someone who can take care of their daily needs.  Trying to figure out who they need me to be is different for each child.  Its easy for Cecelia.  She is little and still needs everything a mother can give her; love, attention, and her daily needs met, just to name a few.  For the older kids, they don't need much of their daily needs met, they can handle those themselves, however they do need a mother's influence, guidance, direction and love.   


I have great respect and appreciation for their mother.  I know that she is looking down on them every day from heaven.  She loves them and is helping me do for them what she cannot do herself.  I feel blessed beyond measure to be able to raise them and love them and be there for them when she cannot be.  I can't help but think that I promised her before we came to earth that I would care for them.  I'm sure that at times my presence might remind them of her and the fact that she is no longer living, and their acceptance of me will take time.  When speaking of being a stepmom herself, Sister Kristen Oaks, second wife of  Dallin H. Oaks, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, said, "Have patience and allow others to have patience, too." 


This whole blending families thing is a wonderful, but sometimes a rocky road.  We are all learning about each other.  We are trying to bring all of our experiences and traditions together.  Incorporating them is sometimes difficult, but we are all working at it.  We all try to help each other.  We all love each other.  We all have patience with each other, at least most of the time!!  As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, " Keep loving. Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep growing. Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever."  I believe that we have a special angel in heaven who is helping us come together and show our love more openly to each other because she wants us all to be together forever.


Families are eternal.  We know that bringing our families together will build lasting bonds.  Heavenly Father has promised that families can be together forever through His plan.  I know that we always want to be together, so we will continue to keep the commandments, and above all, love each other.

It's Our Wedding Day

It's finally here!!  We have been planning and waiting for this day for awhile!  We have had plenty of things to do to keep us busy, but I'm so excited to marry my best friend today!!  We are being sealed in the Salt Lake Temple.  It has been my dream since I was a little girl to be married to my husband in this temple.  I have never gone into the Salt Lake Temple before today.  I wanted it to be something I shared for the first time with my husband, my eternal companion.   And it was! 

I love that I was able to promise my husband forever.  I'm thankful for a loving Heavenly Father that promises eternal life for all of those who choose to follow His son Jesus Christ.  Today we promised each other FOREVER!  We get to start that journey now!!

I am ALL about selfies...so this day isn't complete without one!  We took a break from the normal photo barrage that happens after you are married to snap a quick pic together.  By the way...we had the BEST photographer!  Her name is Jamie Findlay...you can find her info here....she is amazing!  Check her out!

And then there was our reception!  It turned out better than I could have imagined! If you are looking for someone to transform your backyard...check out KNL!  They were so fun and easy to work with!  It was our backyard full of the people we love, who we were lucky enough to spend the day with...and of course...my obsession....WAFFLE LOVE!  They catered our wedding, food truck and all!  It was so much fun! 

 



As I reflect on this day, it was so different from my first marriage.  It was perfect right from the start.  No stress, no worries, no arguing or people not getting along...just happiness.  It was easy and everything fell into place.  This is what a marriage should be....no drama, but complete happiness and peace.  I know that this is right, no matter what other problems or differences we may have in the future.  Heavenly Father brought us together for a purpose we probably don't even understand yet, but I know that we will love each other and help each other through what comes next!!  I'm so excited to start this chapter of my life with the guy who has completed me, who loves me even when I'm not at my best, and who keeps encouraging me and giving me the strength to keep living life in incredible ways!  I love you now (and always) Goodman!  I'm so happy to share my life with you!

Engagement Pictures

After all the planning of outfits and praying that the rain would quit all day, its time to get our engagement and first family photos done!  I tried to get the input of the whole family on the color scheme.  Aqua and Navy blue were the winners!!  I think that is a bit funny though as our wedding colors are cream and coral, but I wanted to include the kids and let them have some decisions to make with this new adventure!


My cousin did our photos.  She is a photographer, JW Photograpy is the name of her business.  She took us to a place in Bluffdale.  It was the perfect location.  The weather was great and I think the pictures are amazing!  Can't wait to choose one for our announcement and another to display in our new home!!  Take a look.....

Picture Perfect!  Love this crazy family of mine!!

💗💗💗💗💗💗

Heather