I am a stepmom to 3 amazing kids! I feel blessed to be a part of their lives. I love them all. Lucy is a gifted piano player, an academic wiz and has a classic Audrey Hepburn style. Cole is kind, he has a way to make everyone feel comfortable and accepted, he is athletic and respectful and gives his all in everything he does. Cecelia...she is fun and carefree, her laugh is infectious and she is all about having fun, but she's 6...who could blame her!I have all these great feelings about these kids and want them to be successful grown ups. However, that doesn't change the fact that its hard to be a stepparent. I am still not their mother. They don't want me to be, they don't need me to be her. They never planned for me or expected me. Maybe they see me as an outsider trying to take her place, as someone who will take over the responsibilities of the house and taking care of the younger sibling and their father, maybe as someone to take them dress shopping or to baseball or maybe they see me as someone who can take care of their daily needs. Trying to figure out who they need me to be is different for each child. Its easy for Cecelia. She is little and still needs everything a mother can give her; love, attention, and her daily needs met, just to name a few. For the older kids, they don't need much of their daily needs met, they can handle those themselves, however they do need a mother's influence, guidance, direction and love.
I have great respect and appreciation for their mother. I know that she is looking down on them every day from heaven. She loves them and is helping me do for them what she cannot do herself. I feel blessed beyond measure to be able to raise them and love them and be there for them when she cannot be. I can't help but think that I promised her before we came to earth that I would care for them. I'm sure that at times my presence might remind them of her and the fact that she is no longer living, and their acceptance of me will take time. When speaking of being a stepmom herself, Sister Kristen Oaks, second wife of Dallin H. Oaks, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, said, "Have patience and allow others to have patience, too."
This whole blending families thing is a wonderful, but sometimes a rocky road. We are all learning about each other. We are trying to bring all of our experiences and traditions together. Incorporating them is sometimes difficult, but we are all working at it. We all try to help each other. We all love each other. We all have patience with each other, at least most of the time!! As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, " Keep loving. Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep growing. Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever." I believe that we have a special angel in heaven who is helping us come together and show our love more openly to each other because she wants us all to be together forever.
Families are eternal. We know that bringing our families together will build lasting bonds. Heavenly Father has promised that families can be together forever through His plan. I know that we always want to be together, so we will continue to keep the commandments, and above all, love each other.
