Updated: Blended Families Part 3

Here we are again...another year gone by and more lessons learned in the world of blending families.

We have been married for 3 years now.  This year has had it's up and downs too.  I feel like this year has been smoother in most aspects.  Everyone knows the rules and has their own space.  They are integrated into their schools and social lives.  They are thriving and are such great kids.  Rex and I always comment on how our kids have been through so many hard things and yet, they are great kids.  They don't have major issues, just the normal growing pains.  They might be intensified by their losses, but they are amazing and always find a way to cope.  We feel so lucky to be their parents.

This year our oldest daughter, Lucy, graduated from high school and left for college.  This totally changed the dynamic of our home.  She was the most responsible one.  The one who helped and nurtured our youngest the most.  She was the one we knew we could rely on.  BUT...it was time for her to start her own journey, which we are thrilled for.  She has been looking forward to this for a long time and we know she will do great!

The other kids are adapting to life without Lucy.  They are building their relationships with each other much more.  They are coming closer and learning more about one another, which doesn't always result in happy endings.  There is still teasing and fighting and learning that they aren't always right, but I would say that overall they are doing great!  Cole is now the oldest child at home and he has taken that role on willingly and does what he can to help his siblings and us, the parents as they like to call us!  Kaylie is becoming the fun sibling that Cecelia needs and entertains her and does fun things with her.  Cecelia is growing up quickly.  She is curious about the things around her, which sometimes gets her into trouble because she is always wanting to try new things!  There are small changes in the household like chore charts and other household responsibilities, bedtimes, who gets to stay home and watch Cecelia instead of going out with their friends, and who gets to pray or read scriptures AGAIN since you just did it at the first of the week, but it's your turn again.

Rex is amazing as always.  His patience with all of this is almost superhuman.  He is constantly building me up and helping me through the challenges of life.  We still make all of our decisions together...kids, house, work, everything really.  It makes it easy to support each other and our family because we both have ownership of the life we are building together.  I know that doesn't work in everyone's situation, but for us that has been essential.

We are excited to see what great things are to come this year!  We feel lucky to have so much love and support from our families and friends!!  This blended family business is challenging at times, but it is so worth it every day!!  Here's to another year!!!

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Heather

Happy 3rd Anniversary to Us!

I can't believe I've been married to my dream man for 3 yrs.  3yrs on the 3rd....Isn't there a special name for that...when your anniversary falls on the date you were married?  Well in my world its a celebration!!

This year it was on a Sunday!  So...we did the things we would normally do, like church and hung out with the kids....all except when our youngest threw up at the dinner table!  Not awesome!!  We made sure she was alright and then it was off to Anniversary Inn...(check it out if you haven't been, it was awesome).  We had treats and watched movies & just enjoyed our time together.  Since our anniversary falls over Labor Day, we had Monday to hang out together.  We checked out a reclaimed wood store we have wanted to visit, but it was CLOSED!  So being our fun selves...we headed home!!

I love that we can have fun just hanging out together, doing the normal every day things that a family does.  That is what a real relationship is to me.  Its not just the going out every night, spending money and impressing each other...its the real things of life...the good and the hard things, but we face them all together.  Thanks for sticking with me Goodman!  We make a great team!!

Happy Anniversary!


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Heather

4th First Date

It's that time again...the time when we get to celebrate our first date EVER!!  We are so thankful that we found each other.  With all the crazy of 4 kids and real lives, we think its important to take the time to celebrate us and our relationship.  So we went back to the place where it all started.  Dinner and taking in some us time at City Creek.  Simple, but fun to reminisce how WE came to be!

So thankful for this guy and all of the happiness he brings into my life!  Love you more every day Goodman 💜


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Heather

She's off to college....

And just like that she's off to college...I have so many mixed emotions about this!  On one hand I am so excited for her to begin a new adventure.  One where she gets to be in charge and make her own decisions and choices.  I'm excited for her to have so many wonderful experiences and see the world through her eyes.  On the other hand, I am sad.  I only got her for 3 years.  She won't be at home any more.  Our whole family dynamic changes.  I'm sad she won't be around for all of the experiences that we have and the memories that we will make...I worry that the relationship I have with her will not be enough and that she won't be bonded to our family as much as the other kids.  This blending families business is hard work!

I hope she knows how much she means to me......how much I love her.....how much I've enjoyed the last few years with her...I hope she knows that I am here if she needs me....and that no amount of distance will change that.

So with that sweet Lucy....go take on the world and make it a better place....the one where you hoped you could make the difference....experience life and all of the joys and sorrows....and we will be right here when you need us!!  Happy first year of college!!

She even sent me a 1st day of school pic because she knows how much I love them!!

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Heather

Another year begins.....

How is it that another year is already beginning??  At the beginning of the summer I always feel like its going to be a long time before they are back in school, but it's never like that!  Time really does fly by so quickly with these kiddos!  This year is a little different for us.  Our oldest daughter Lucy is off to college this year...so we're down to just 3 in school at home.  We had our usually night before school starts dinner.  This year they all got to pick part of the meal...a main course...a side...the dessert...or what to drink.  We didn't tell them whose choice we picked...they just got to be surprised.  It was a fun way to spend a little more time together before the start of the school year.

Cole is a junior.  He loves anything sports, being with his friends and he's begun his working career at a local bakery.  He is smart, funny and very helpful to our family.  We love Cole so much!

Kaylie is a freshman.  She is our dancer and that pretty much consumes her world.  She loves pineapples, clothes and jewelry and she also loves being with her friends.  She is kind and thoughtful and our family wouldn't be the same without her positivity!

Cecelia is in 2nd grade.  She loves school and being with her friends, but she hates homework and is not looking forward to that starting again.  She loves McDonalds, playing with her toys and watching the kindle when she gets up in the morning while she is eating her breakfast is a must to starting her day off right!!  She is so full of life and excitement for the world she is learning about.  She keeps us all young and fun!

Here's to a great 2018!!

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Heather

It's Baptism Day!!

There have been so many special moments for our family over the last couple of weeks.  And today...we get to celebrate one more!!  Today is Cecelia's baptism day.  In our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, when we turn 8, we get to choose if we want to become a member.  If we do, we are able to be baptized and make a promise to Heavenly Father that we will follow His commandments and try to follow the example of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  Also on that special day, we receive a gift from Heavenly Father, the gift of the Holy Ghost...he gets to be with us all the time!  He helps us to know what is right in all the things we do.

Cecelia has decided to become the newest member of our ward and be baptized.  She is so excited to be baptized.  She was able to choose whether Dad or Cole was going to baptize her...and she chose Dad.  She also decided that she wanted to wear Kaylie's baptism dress since she wore Lucy's for her pictures.  She is so excited that her friends and family are going to be there to watch her....she is also hoping that her mom, Jeni will be there too.  I told her I thought she would be.

After her baptism, as she was coming out of the font, she looked at me and said, "Mom, its soo cool that my old mom got to see that!"  We're all so glad we got to be a part of this special day!!  Cecelia we love you and are so excited for you to continue to grow and learn more about our Savior Jesus Christ and His ministry.   Happy Baptism Day sweet girl!!

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Heather

Families are Forever

Today is one of my most favorite days!!  Ever since she was born, I hoped for a day when I would get to have my daughter sealed to me forever!!  As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we believe that we can be with our families forever.  Through the sacred ordinance of sealing, we can have this blessing for our family....and today was that day!

It was such a special experience to have all of our children in the temple with us for the event.  We were all able to participate in Kaylie's sealing.  The temple workers were incredible and were so excited to have children in the temple, since most times the youth are only there to do baptisms for the dead, which is in a different part of the temple.  Our kids felt like royalty and were definitely treated that way!  They had their own special changing rooms and things to do while they waited for Rex and I to get ready.  Then we were able to meet together in the special sealing rooms.  We all dressed in white.  We all felt the Holy Ghost.  We all knew that this was God's will for us.  He loves us and wants us to be happy and return to Him someday to live as families with Him.

After the sealing, we of course took pictures outside of the temple.  Then we went home and had pizza with our family who came to witness this special time in our lives.  We laughed and ate and enjoyed the time we had to spend together.  Families are a gift from heaven.  They are there to celebrate the good times and help us through the bad times.  They are what brings meaning to our lives!  We are so thankful for all of the love and support we get from our families.

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Heather

If you want to learn more about our church...click on the link here.

God Loves Broken Things

I am constantly looking for other women who are going through or have been through the same things I am struggling with.  Blending families, divorce, remarriage, raising kids...whatever it is.  It seems like it is always easy to find the negative or discouraging things out there, and I know that is part of the journey, but its so special and uplifting to me when I find someone who can be in the midst of a trial, but still be trying to find happiness. And can show that happiness throughout their struggle.  Not every day maybe, but more than they are projecting negativity, and also that they can show they are making it through and so can I.   It's the way I want to live, the way I am trying to live, although I know I need to work on that a lot!

Yesterday I came across Calee Reed.  She is a motivational speaker and a songwriter, singer.  She spoke in Time Out for Women in 2017 and talked about a song she absolutely loves called "Broken" by Kenneth Cope.  She also talked about a form of Japanese art called Kintsugi.  It means to repair with gold; the art of repairing pottery with lacquer and gold or silver powder, understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.



She goes on to say that she hopes that as she comes closer to the Savior that He can make something beautiful of her broken pieces.  And I just LOVE THAT!  Don't we all feel like we have so many broken parts of us?  There are so many things that we find ugly within ourselves..things we want to just hide away, but with the love of our Savior and His refining power He is able to put those pieces back together in a way that is beautiful and powerful and we can see His light within ourselves.  I love this image and imaging His love woven through the cracks in our lives and the love that we feel knowing of His love for us.  And hopefully others will be able to see that too!

I love this message.  I love that others help us on our journeys.  I love that God loves us so much that He uses us to help each other.  I love that through our brokeness (Is that even a word??)  that we become better beings and closer to what He wants us to become.


Here are the words to "Broken" and also a link to her cover of the song:

BROKEN (Words by Kenneth Cope; Music by Kenneth & Eliza Cope) —inspired by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Broken clouds give rain
Broken soil grows grain
Broken bread feeds man for one more day

Broken storms yield light
The break of day heals night
Broken pride turns blindness into sight

Broken souls that need His mending
Broken hearts for offering
Could it be that God loves broken things

Broken chains set free
Broken swords bring peace
Broken walls make friends of you and me

To break the ranks of sin
To break the news of Him
To put on Christ till His name feels broken in

Broken souls that need His mending
Broken hearts for offering
I believe that God loves broken things

And yet, our broken faith, our broken promises
Sent love to the cross
And still, that broken flesh, that broken heart of His
Offers us such grace and mercy
Covers us with love undeserving

This broken soul that cries for mending
This broken heart for offering
I’m convinced that God loves broken me
Praise His name—my God loves broken things
So, broken cloud—Give rain
And broken soil—Grow grain
And broken bread—Feed man for one more day

Calee Reed cover of Broken



Happy Wednesday Everyone! ❤

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Heather

Spring Break 2018

This is the last Spring Break before our daughter heads off to college.  We offered a few choices of where we might go for spring break and she chose to see 4 National Parks; Kolob Canyon, Bryce Canyon, Capitol Reef and Canyonlands National Park.  They were awesome!!  So amazing that these places exist....Beautiful beyond belief!!  Make sure to see the petroglyphs in Canyonlands at Newspaper Rock.  We all loved seeing those.  Amazing that they have survived this long!!

We decided to get the America the Beautiful Pass.  It's basically a year of unlimited access to any National Park.  It was $80, but well worth it.  It saved us time when entering the parks and we only had to pay once!  If you are visiting enough parks to make it worth buying then you definitely should.  They sell them at most of the visitor's centers.  I have linked the website to the pass above that you can check out and see where to buy them!!

We did 4 parks in 5 days with 4 kids, 2 parents stuffed into a Toyota Highlander, 24 hrs of driving, 2 stopping places and LOTS of fun!!  The kids were great!  I prepared ahead of time with some car games.  I found some great websites, Landeelu.com and Mum in the Madhouse for some games to play while driving.  And of course we played some of the classics..the alphabet game, the name game using the alphabet, and the license plate game, which we found all but 12 states!  Everyone wanted Hawaii, but no luck!!  We even drove around the outlook parking places looking for different license plates!!  We had a lot of fun just being together and seeing all of the beautiful landscapes of the national parks!  We had to stop at the Visitor's Center of each park and get a window sticker for our oldest to put on her hydroflask.  Of course there was time for sleeping and also for using their electronics.  I did like that most of the time there was no cell service.  It really gave us a chance to interact and spend uninterrupted time together!  Here are a few of the sites.....

Kolob Canyon

Bryce Canyon

Mesa Arch at Canyonlands

Capitol Reef

It was so much fun to hang out with our kiddos and make some memories!!  I treasure each family vacation we take.  Not only do we get to see cool things, we get to grow closer together as a family and build our family relationships.  If you read my blog you know that we are a blended family.  It is essential to me to spend as much time together as we can.  We only have a few short years to live all in the same place & build our relationships so these times are priceless to me!  Love this family of mine!!

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Heather

Rainbow Love Notes

Sometimes as a stepmom I wonder if I'm doing it right, if I do enough, if I am enough, if these littles (and not so littles) entrusted to me feel enough love and support.  Its a challenging situation when you are blending families.

This weekend my daughter and I were out of town at a dance competition.  And when we came home, this is what we found....

What a precious little gift.  My cute little 7yr old made this adorable card for us during sacrament meeting and had each of the family members sign it.  Such a sweet sentiment for this mom!  I love this family.  I love being a part of it and I love that as time moves forward we are able to share more love and kindness with each other...especially ones with handmade rainbow love notes!!

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Heather

Highlights of 2017

2017 has been a good year for me.  I know there is a lot of bad happening in the world, but I try to find the good in things despite the bad things going on around us.


We've had some milestones as a family and individually!  We have all gone through some hard times and had some really good times blending our family.  I feel like this year has been the best year yet in terms of blending..hard, but getting stronger as a family, accepting each other and trying to find love for one another.  Here are some of my favorite moments from this year.....




In January 2017 our oldest daughter got her driver's license!!  OH No!!  Look out world here she comes!!!!!

Also in January, our 2nd oldest daughter was able to go to the LDS temple for the first time and perform baptisms for the dead!  It was such an awesome experience to have all of our children who are old enough to go be there all together for this experience!

For Spring Break in April we took a trip to California!  I was able to go to my inlaw's almond farm for the first time, Newport Beach (which was Kaylie's first time to the beach...at 13...epic mom fail!!), Disneyland and Las Vegas to visit some family!  It was a great trip...with LOTS of driving....but a week of fun!!

In May, our son Cole finished his Eagle Project.  He fundraised, bought, tied and delivered fleece blankets to the Huntsman Cancer Institute.  He did this to pay back and say thank you to them for all of the support and care they gave to his mom while she was undergoing cancer treatments.  He hopes in some way it will bring some happiness to others in that situation.  It was so rewarding as a parent seeing him not only give back, but give back to something that touched his life so deeply!  Way to go Cole!

In July I finished my VERY FIRST furniture restore!  It was so fun for me to try something new and something out of my skill set!  I enjoyed it and have done a piece or 2 since!  Check out my journey with chalk paint HERE.

In August we took an end of the summer family road trip to Bear Lake.  It was the first time some of us had been there...Check out my post about it HERE. 

In October we did family pictures!  I LOVE THEM!!  I'm grateful to my husband for putting up with this sometimes stressful addiction of mine!!

In December we started what I hope to be an annual gingerbread house/people/train decorating extravaganza with my mom and sister.  Heres the 1st annual....

And lastly, also in December is our annual Christmas Eve family selfie...it was a record this year I think we only took 5 photos!  Love this crazy tradition!!

As I look forward to 2018, the word that has become my goal is Balance.  Life is all about balance.  I need to find more of that in my life.  And I think what it really comes down to is just trying to be a little better this year than last.  Life is a progression and I want to keep moving forward, trying new things and becoming a little kinder and more centered so I can focus on what really matters to me...and that is my Family and Friends...people are what really matters in life, but all of the other distractions cause me to lose sight of that at times.  So balance has to be a priority for me this year!  Lots of new experiences are coming our way this year and I am excited to see where they take us!


Happy 2018 Everyone!!


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Heather

Festival of Trees

It's that time of year again!!  It's time for the Festival of Trees.  I love this event.  I love the meaning behind it!  I love the family time we spend there!

Here is a little history of the festival...
The Festival of Trees was inspired 46 years ago by a group of 15 women from along the Wasatch Front.  These women were challenged by Lewis M. Jones, Chairman of the hospital's Men's Endowment Board, to identify a way to raise funds for Primary Children's Hospital.  Organized as the Women's Endowment Committee and led by Betty Wells, the group sold tickets to the Ice Capades and dabbled in other projects in an attempt to raise funds.  They soon determined they had spent too much time and energy for too little return.  They searched for one project they could devote all their efforts on.
That project was inspired when Co-Chair Ruth Flint vacationed in Hawaii and attended a Christmas boutique featuring small, decorated Christmas trees, centerpieces, and Christmas decorations.  The Women's Endowment Committee expanded the concept to include full-sized decorated Christmas trees, a gift boutique, and sweet shop.  At that time, Primary Children's Hospital was owned by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and much of the support would come from church members.
That first year, there were approximately 60 trees for display and sale in the gymnasium of the old Armory off Sunnyside Avenue.  To everyone's surprise and delight, $47,000 was raised!


Today, the Festival of Trees is held at the South Towne Expo Center in Sandy, Utah.  Over the years, this beautiful event has blossomed into a festival that spans over 220,000 square feet of display space.
Perhaps the greatest phenomenon of all is that everything is donated.  The trees are decorated and purchased by individuals, families, organizations, businesses, and church groups.  In addition, others generously donate items to fill the shops.  Businesses provide the paper and printing of posters and tickets.  Corporations offer their covered trucks and drivers to help deliver the trees, and so much more!  Thousands of people contribute countless hours and means to give "A Gift of Love" to children.  In 2016. the Festival raised $2,622,903.88 for children at Primary Children's Hospital.
Over the years, Festival of Trees has been copied many times throughout the United States and Canada.  However, the Salt Lake City Festival of Trees remains the "granddaddy" of them all.


My daughter Kaylie is a talented dancer and her studio would perform every year at the Festival.  We would then spend time walking through the aisles looking at all of the beautiful trees, wreaths and gingerbread houses, etc...and who can resist all of the YUMMY food and treats you can purchase!!  BUT....our favorite part is the Kids' Corner where you can talk to an Elf at the North Pole or make awesome crafts or ornaments or even stand in a booth and be surrounded in a big giant soap bubble!!  Such a magical, fun place to be.  The feeling of joy and good wishes to all abound there.


Now we have a new reason to visit the Festival!!  Lucy and Cole, our 2 oldest, with the help of a family friend donate a tree every year in honor of their sweet mother.  They come up with a theme, shop for ornaments and then decorate the tree.  They LOVE delivery day!  They always seem so excited and really enjoy setting up their tree and honoring their mom.  I am so thankful they have this event every year to honor her and I know they love that all of the proceeds go to help children who are in need of special care too.  They get to go before the rest of our family and they usually have a tree or two that they love and want to show us in addition to their own!!


The theme they chose this year was 'dancing all night'....here are Lucy's words explaining it!!  "One of my favorite memories of my mom is her dance parties.  even when she was sick and in pain from her cancer treatments, she would turn on some music and we'd all dance it out.  these dance parties were the inspiration for this year's tree-dancing all night."
Many people remember these dance parties and talk about them fondly.  It was a blessing to them all and a sweet reminder of the woman who meant so much to so many.

It turned out beautifully!  This event is such a great reminder to me that despite all of the bad things in the world, there are also so many good things.  We must seek out the good things and share them with others.  We must be kind, happy and share our goodness with those around us and help those in need.  "As we follow the example of the Savior and live as He lived and as He taught, that light will burn within us and will light the way for others," President Thomas S. Monson


Go check out the Festival if you are able!  You'll love it and want to go back every year!


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Heather

Update: Blending Families

I've been thinking a lot about how blending our family is going.  Its been 2 years since we began this journey.  We've had our ups and downs.  Learning from and with each other.  But, overall, I think we are doing a pretty great job!  The picture below is us on the 4th of July...we're all smiling right...so things must be good!!

In the beginning, parenting was difficult.  Learning how to parent other kids and them learning our different styles of parenting took some time.  But we were consistent in our expectations and made it the same for each of them.   Teaching them why they were given certain learning opportunities (our kids like to see them as punishments however) in different circumstances was also a learning curve. Each child is different and one way of doing something doesn't always work for every child however.....am I right??  😉 So we've had to adapt to that.  We also showed them that we stood together as a team and that no matter what we were going to support each other as parents and spouses.  I think that helped them to understand that they couldn't put us at odds as a couple and play us against each other. If we had a difference of opinion on how to handle something we would talk together and then make a decision together.  We also let our kids voice their opinions or reasons they disagreed with us and then consider their thoughts.  Sometimes we changed their 'punishment' and sometimes we didn't and we would explain why.  I think that helped them know that we value their input even if the outcome was the same.  We gave them a chance to speak. 

We have made an effort to do things together as a family.  We have been on a few family vacations and travelled for baseball and dance competitions.  We play games together, eat dinner together each night, we do nightly family scripture reading and prayers together, and our family home evening once a week.  We give the kids opportunities to work together on projects.  We have finally gotten into a groove with those things and I feel like we are on the right track.

I think it was a great idea to move into a new house.  Everyone had the opportunity to make their own space and place in the house.  No one had claims to any place previously and we all adapted to a new life in a new place.  We all lived upstairs while our basement was being finished and it was a little cramped, but I hope it helped grow the bonds of our new blended family.  We haven't displayed pictures of the deceased parents in the common areas of the house, but we have given each child the choice to have those things in their rooms.  The balance between moving on, but still remembering those good times and people is a funny thing.  Some of the kids tell us when they need support in those areas and other kids handle their emotions on there own.  I hope they know they can share feelings and memories they have!  We have taken some old furniture for comfort and some new things to define our style together as a family.  That has worked well.

Our children are wonderful.  They have taken this blending families thing in stride and have each made an effort to make everyone feel loved and cared for.  There are definitely times when each of them feel picked on or that they don't fit in the family.  We have had to talk through some of that and have had counseling sessions for them and continue to try to be as open as we can about things.  I think our choice to make decisions together and parent like a normal 2 parent household has really helped the strength and unity of our family, and really we are the only 2 parents our kids have now (see my previous post about helping your child grieve).  The kids have been great with one another.  If they recognize someone is going through a hard time they try to be nicer in their own ways or help out if they are asked.  I try to give them little notes of encouragement or let them know when I appreciate something they have done or noticed their efforts in trying to help another sibling.  I hope they can see my love for them through those small acts.

We are still working on our relationships every day.  We aren't finished and we know that this will be a lifetime work in progress, but we wouldn't change it.  We are loving watching our kids grow up and experience things.  Its hard to believe that our oldest will graduate high school in the spring and will leave our home, but we are confident that she will succeed and we will be there for her every step of the way.  That's what families do right?  They encourage and support both in times of trials and in times of joy.  I am so thankful to our Heavenly Father who has been there every step of the way.  He has strengthened us, buoyed us up when we felt like quitting and has provided so many answers and little every day miracles that have assisted us in building our family.  This blended family of ours is the source of our greatest happiness.  

Family Picures 2017

I don't know about you, but there is something about Family pictures that I LOVE!!  I love to see the changes in our family from year to year.  I love the memories we make when we are taking them and the fun they seem to be...mostly!  What session wouldn't be complete without the shedding of a few tears right!  😉  I am really lucky to have one of the best cousins in the world, who just happens to take amazing pictures!  I mean...check them out!

When I'm thinking of what I want the theme to be for the year, I spend LOTS of time on Pinterest or other friends photos.  I'm looking at color schemes and poses and locations.  This year I wanted a more rustic feel.  So we chose more muted colors like navy, black and jeans.  My cousin picked the location with these cool rustic barns and an old silo.  And for fun, my mom wanted to do something with Santa hats and ugly sweaters...I added the lights and we barely had time to snap a few quick ones with the kids before it got dark! 


Whatever your family photos are, do them!  Make memories and capture the changes in your family for years to  come.  Family pictures are a MUST for me!  I don't want to miss a chance to watch our family grow up!! 

Today is their Anniversary

My husband is a widower.  I married him fully knowing this.  I put all of the feelings of him and his first wife aside when I decided to marry him.  I wasn't sure if I could handle them all, but I knew I loved him and I knew marrying him was right and what I wanted to do.  Sometimes her memory is hard for me.  I feel like I am the other woman.  I feel like I only got a second chance because she died.  I am afraid that I will be alone in the next life, because in my personal beliefs, this life is only part of our eternal existence.  Let me be clear, these are my feelings, not my husband's.  He NEVER compares me to Jeni.  He never makes me feel that he loves me any less than he loves her.  These are my own personal feelings that sometimes get the best of me...especially on days like today. 


Today is their wedding anniversary.  It would have been their 19th wedding anniversary.  In some ways it makes me sad and brings up all of my insecurities.  However, in some ways, it brings me joy.  She helped influence this man that I love so much.  She helped him become who he is in so many ways.  I'm sure he is more compassionate and loving because of his experiences with her.  He is so giving of himself and his time.  He understands what it means to truly love someone.  He never wants to fight or argue over things.  He is understanding and forgiving.  He is ALWAYS trying to make me happy.  He gives all he has to his family.  I know that because of her, he is this amazing person.  I also know that whatever comes in the next life, I will be happier than I ever imagined.  I know God loves me more than I know and He will make everything right so we can all be happy. 


So while I sometimes have these negative feelings eating at my heart, I am thankful for her and her influence...her goodness.  Happy Anniversary!!  I hope you are dancing with the angels in celebration and wishing you nothing but happiness and peace. ❤❤❤

Ready for Kindergarten

She's ready for Kindergarten, but her parents might not be!  We are excited for her to go to school and grow up, but it makes us a little sad too!  She is our last child at home.  Its a little bittersweet to have them all going to school now.  But, boy is she ever excited!!  She can't wait to start and 4 months is a little too long to have to wait for Kindergarten!  At least we were able to go to registration and she got to meet the teachers and see the classrooms and the school.  So glad she has something to look forward to!

Love this girl!




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Heather

Its Easter Time Again

I don't know about you, but Easter is one of my favorite holidays.  The beginning of Spring, time to spend with family, coloring eggs and Easter egg hunts, lots of food and my favorite part about Easter??  Its remembering the Savior Jesus Christ, the Atonement, the love he has for each one of us, the opportunity we have to repent and try again.  Because of Him all of these things are possible.

My Easter day usually consists of my church meetings, an Easter egg hunt with my family and lots of yummy delicious food!

We usually try to color our eggs the day before Easter and that silly bunny ALWAYS hides them from us!!  We used a dye kit this year and did some of them that way, but then we also used whipping cream and food coloring and let the eggs just sit in that for awhile.  Some of them worked!  It was fun to try something new this year!!

This is a few of us after the Easter egg hunt sorting through the spoils of the day!!  We have the Easter egg hunt at my aunt's home.  She has a lot of property with horses, a barn and a chicken coop and is the perfect place for the egg hunt!  We are so thankful she hosts this event every year!!  Candy, money and an Easter basket for everyone!!  That sneaky bunny really knows how to help us have a good time together!

The day isn't complete without a family picture to remember the event!  Thank goodness our kids are all accepting of my photo obsession!! 


I hope your day is filled with the memories of a loving brother, Jesus Christ and his atonement, with food, family & lots of fun!  HAPPY EASTER!!!


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Heather

Brighton 2016

This year we got the opportunity to stay up at Brighton Ski Resort in a cabin with my sister and her family.  It was just an overnight trip, but it was just what the doctor ordered!  Lots of R & R, games, laughter and some snowshoeing....and food....LOTS of food!!  Kaylie and I were the only ones in our family that had been snowshoeing before!  And we LOVE it!  It was fun to sharing something we like with the rest of our family who hadn't done it before.  I think for the most part everyone enjoyed it!  We snowshoed around Brighton on the flat part of the lake.  Cecelia had a bit of a hard time because she doesn't like to walk that far, but even she soldiered through with us having her strike a pose for a photo when she was getting a little tired!

It was a beautiful day for snowshoeing!!  The sun was out and it wasn't too cold!  What I loved most was spending time with my sister and her family, my mom, my brother-in-law's sister and her family, his mom and my cute little family.  I love the memories we make together and I hope they last a lifetime.  It's important to have memories as a family and I love making them with my crew!

No trip with my sister is complete without a group selfie!!

Sleeping baby!  Man did he ever work hard up there on Dad's back!  Cute Owen!

The scenery!  If you haven't experienced Utah in the winter...its a MUST DO!

The kids at the finish line!  They all made it!  YAY!!!

The adults have to pose too!

Love this fun family of mine!!!  If you've never been to Brighton or never snowshoed...you should!  It's a blast and something the entire family can do!!  Happy shoeing!!

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Heather

Provo City Center Open House

Today we were able to attend the Provo City Center Temple open house.  It was FREEZING!  But soo worth it!  I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  We believe that sacred ordinances are performed in temples.  Learn more about temples HERE.


This temple was so beautiful.  It is the 2nd temple in Provo and was previously the Provo Tabernacle until it was destroyed by a fire.  Read more about its history HERE.  I am thankful we were able to walk through it with our family before it was dedicated.  Our kids loved the baptismal font and the celestial room.  I think what they loved most was being able to experience it with their cousins!


I'm thankful for my beliefs and for the Savior Jesus Christ and for all of the people who worked so hard to bring this blessing of the temple to us all.

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Heather

Blending Families

We are happy.  We are marrying the person with don't want to live without.  We are in love.  We are also blinded slightly by this said love!  You see, we have 3 teenage children, ages 15, 13, and 12, and 1 little, age 5.  We love them.  We love each other.  They all love each other...don't they?  Wait!!!!...They barely know each other and the new 'step' parent....this is all going to work out right...the 'happily ever after' we wanted??  Whose idea was this anyway??  I'm sure that is how many people feel.  And the thought did cross my mind!

We are not naive to the fact that we are trying to blend families with teenagers, and That.Is.Hard!  No matter how great the kids are (and ours are), it is difficult to take 2 families and make them one.  Especially in circumstances like ours...one parent lost to a horrible disease-cancer...and the other to divorce and drugs.  Our children have already been through some really difficult times.  And now, they have another challenge to handle....a blended family.

I read once that it takes 5 years to blend a family.  5 years??  That is a lifetime.  There are routines and the way they used to do it and the way you used to do it...and new roles to learn....and the hierachy of the new family....and the way discipline is handled.....and having a 2 parent household again....and traditions....and extended families....and how do you incorporate the missing parents...is anyone else feeling overwhelmed yet?  And all that comes after the marriage, but....What about where will  you live? Will they have to attend new schools?  Make new friends?  There is alot to consider when blending families.

This topic has been stressful for Rex and I to navigate through.  We have had many discussions on how we are going to handle these issues.  We had a struggle about where we were going to live.  I wanted to stay where I was and what my daughter was used to and he had promised his children that they would not have to move after their mother passed away.  It was something he felt very strongly about.  I was so conflicted with that decision.  We looked at houses in both places, but mostly closer to him.  When we found our house, I knew it was the right place for us to be.  We were under contract for another house, but that fell through when the square footage was off and they would not lower their price...so we began looking again.  When we found this house, it just felt right.  We knew this was the place we needed to be.  I'm sure it will be a blessing to all of us.  Only time will tell that!

As far as all of the other struggles for blending families, we have decided to parent together.  This may be hard in the beginning for everyone to adjust to, but we feel that we have to make decisions together and stand united so that we can be a stronger foundation for our children and so they can also see what a family unit looks like.  I'm sure there will be some struggles with this, especially when discipline is concerned, but we are going to take it day by day and then evaluate how its working for us and adjust as needed.  We have tried to incorporate a little of the old for each child both in structure and decor and then some new that pulls our new family together.

We have contact with our extended families as well as our past spouses families and we are working to build relationships with them and keep our kids as involved in those relationships as they want.  Distance is an issue, but we are working on keeping an open line of communication for all that want to be involved.  And I must say...we are so blessed.  We have some of the most caring people in our families & extended families.  We could not be happier with the support we have received.

The last thing that weighs on my mind is that if it really does take 5 years to blend a family, our children will be moved out before then.  Our oldest only has 3 years left at home before she leaves for college and is out on her own.  How I love these kids I've been blessed with to have in my family.  I hope in that short time I can develop lasting relationships and instill in them my love for each one of them.  I struggle with the fact that I will be coming into their lives during some of the most difficult times they will endure which may require some of that discipline we were just talking about.  I don't want them  to see that as punishment, but more as guidance because I care about them.  I want them to know that I love them and that I am there for them through anything they are going through.

Raising kids is hard and sometimes being a step parent is even harder!!  But we have to keep loving and keep hoping and keep trying even through those times of wanting to give up!  I have to think there will be some of those days for all of us out there!  Our 'Happily Ever After' can come though, through hard work, prayer and persistence.  I'm grateful for this new family and look forward to the new adventures together!