4th First Date

It's that time again...the time when we get to celebrate our first date EVER!!  We are so thankful that we found each other.  With all the crazy of 4 kids and real lives, we think its important to take the time to celebrate us and our relationship.  So we went back to the place where it all started.  Dinner and taking in some us time at City Creek.  Simple, but fun to reminisce how WE came to be!

So thankful for this guy and all of the happiness he brings into my life!  Love you more every day Goodman 💜


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Heather

Families are Forever

Today is one of my most favorite days!!  Ever since she was born, I hoped for a day when I would get to have my daughter sealed to me forever!!  As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we believe that we can be with our families forever.  Through the sacred ordinance of sealing, we can have this blessing for our family....and today was that day!

It was such a special experience to have all of our children in the temple with us for the event.  We were all able to participate in Kaylie's sealing.  The temple workers were incredible and were so excited to have children in the temple, since most times the youth are only there to do baptisms for the dead, which is in a different part of the temple.  Our kids felt like royalty and were definitely treated that way!  They had their own special changing rooms and things to do while they waited for Rex and I to get ready.  Then we were able to meet together in the special sealing rooms.  We all dressed in white.  We all felt the Holy Ghost.  We all knew that this was God's will for us.  He loves us and wants us to be happy and return to Him someday to live as families with Him.

After the sealing, we of course took pictures outside of the temple.  Then we went home and had pizza with our family who came to witness this special time in our lives.  We laughed and ate and enjoyed the time we had to spend together.  Families are a gift from heaven.  They are there to celebrate the good times and help us through the bad times.  They are what brings meaning to our lives!  We are so thankful for all of the love and support we get from our families.

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Heather

If you want to learn more about our church...click on the link here.

BeaUTAHful

Living in Utah definitely has its advantages!!  I love being so close to the mountains...they might be my favorite part of Utah!  This is Cecret Lake.  Its a short little hike & was perfect for a small morning hike with the family.  Take a look...   #nofilter

I somehow missed all of the wildflowers that were in bloom.  It's a quick hike..only about 1.5 miles round trip and just gorgeous. 

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Heather

Lucy's Graduation Day 2018

It's here!!  She is graduating.  So many emotions on this exciting day!!  She is celebrating her success, I mean 36 on the ACT isn't bad right 😉😉😉, and looking forward to continuing her education in the fall!  We are so proud of this beautiful young lady!  Although we will miss her at home, we are excited for all of the new adventures she is about to experience!!

Love this family of mine ❤❤ and all of the things we get to do together!!

Happy Graduation!

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Heather

God Loves Broken Things

I am constantly looking for other women who are going through or have been through the same things I am struggling with.  Blending families, divorce, remarriage, raising kids...whatever it is.  It seems like it is always easy to find the negative or discouraging things out there, and I know that is part of the journey, but its so special and uplifting to me when I find someone who can be in the midst of a trial, but still be trying to find happiness. And can show that happiness throughout their struggle.  Not every day maybe, but more than they are projecting negativity, and also that they can show they are making it through and so can I.   It's the way I want to live, the way I am trying to live, although I know I need to work on that a lot!

Yesterday I came across Calee Reed.  She is a motivational speaker and a songwriter, singer.  She spoke in Time Out for Women in 2017 and talked about a song she absolutely loves called "Broken" by Kenneth Cope.  She also talked about a form of Japanese art called Kintsugi.  It means to repair with gold; the art of repairing pottery with lacquer and gold or silver powder, understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.



She goes on to say that she hopes that as she comes closer to the Savior that He can make something beautiful of her broken pieces.  And I just LOVE THAT!  Don't we all feel like we have so many broken parts of us?  There are so many things that we find ugly within ourselves..things we want to just hide away, but with the love of our Savior and His refining power He is able to put those pieces back together in a way that is beautiful and powerful and we can see His light within ourselves.  I love this image and imaging His love woven through the cracks in our lives and the love that we feel knowing of His love for us.  And hopefully others will be able to see that too!

I love this message.  I love that others help us on our journeys.  I love that God loves us so much that He uses us to help each other.  I love that through our brokeness (Is that even a word??)  that we become better beings and closer to what He wants us to become.


Here are the words to "Broken" and also a link to her cover of the song:

BROKEN (Words by Kenneth Cope; Music by Kenneth & Eliza Cope) —inspired by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Broken clouds give rain
Broken soil grows grain
Broken bread feeds man for one more day

Broken storms yield light
The break of day heals night
Broken pride turns blindness into sight

Broken souls that need His mending
Broken hearts for offering
Could it be that God loves broken things

Broken chains set free
Broken swords bring peace
Broken walls make friends of you and me

To break the ranks of sin
To break the news of Him
To put on Christ till His name feels broken in

Broken souls that need His mending
Broken hearts for offering
I believe that God loves broken things

And yet, our broken faith, our broken promises
Sent love to the cross
And still, that broken flesh, that broken heart of His
Offers us such grace and mercy
Covers us with love undeserving

This broken soul that cries for mending
This broken heart for offering
I’m convinced that God loves broken me
Praise His name—my God loves broken things
So, broken cloud—Give rain
And broken soil—Grow grain
And broken bread—Feed man for one more day

Calee Reed cover of Broken



Happy Wednesday Everyone! ❤

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Heather

Rainbow Love Notes

Sometimes as a stepmom I wonder if I'm doing it right, if I do enough, if I am enough, if these littles (and not so littles) entrusted to me feel enough love and support.  Its a challenging situation when you are blending families.

This weekend my daughter and I were out of town at a dance competition.  And when we came home, this is what we found....

What a precious little gift.  My cute little 7yr old made this adorable card for us during sacrament meeting and had each of the family members sign it.  Such a sweet sentiment for this mom!  I love this family.  I love being a part of it and I love that as time moves forward we are able to share more love and kindness with each other...especially ones with handmade rainbow love notes!!

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Heather

Italy 2018

Italy has never been on my bucket list...but it should have been!!  We had the wonderful opportunity to go to Tuscany this year.  We found an amazing deal that we just couldn't pass up!!


I get emails from a website called Travelzoo.  If you don't subscribe to them and you love to travel, you really should subscribe!!  They have some really great opportunities to travel on a budget. This particular trip caught us by surprise.  Next up on my bucket list was England.  When the deal for Italy came about I sent it to my husband just joking, but SURPRISE...the joke was on me...he said to book it!  So after some research, we did!  We did extend the trip by a couple of days so that we could also go to Rome.  We ended up visiting Montecatini, Florence, Pisa, Lucca, Venice and Rome in 10 days.  It was beautiful.  The weather was great.  We were a little worried going in January/February as it is their rainy season, but it only rained for a couple of hours one day.  I would definitely go again during the off season....less crowds, much cooler and still so many amazing things to see!

We rented a car in Milan and drove to Montecatini, Venice and back to Milan.  It was fun to see the actual country and make pit stops wherever we wanted.  They drive on the same side of the street as we do in America so that wasn't an issue.  They do have toll roads and learning to navigate those was a little tricky since we aren't accustom to them in our neck of the woods here in America, but you can pay either with Euros or a credit card.  The city streets are a little harder to get around on as they are curvy and the streets aren't well marked in some parts of the country.  We didn't drive into most of the cities in Italy.  I would definitely recommend taking public transportation.  Their transportation system is superb.  We took the Metros, the high speed trains and the buses.  Its very easy to navigate & using Google Maps makes it simple to know what form of transportation you need & where to pick it up! 

We got some of the passes to see things while in Florence and Rome.  The Firenze Pass in Florence and the Roma Pass in Rome.  They essentially get you into some museums, skip the lines and allow you to take public transit for less money.  They both have time restraints so be sure to plan ahead with the things you want to see & do them according to your passes.

We used Rick Steves ' Italy book ALOT!!  He has so much good information and we followed alot of what he says.  His maps of the cities were very helpful and just his details of the cities made it much easier to get around and to determine what was a priority to see.  I would recommend at least giving it a quick read of the places you are thinking of visiting!!

My favorite city was Venice.  There is something about a city on the water.  Bridges connecting you to everything.  Old buildings and the smell of baked goods wafting through the streets.  The old architecture of the buildings and the stories of the infancy of the city.  Its rustic and charming and beautiful.  Oh and it's where I had my first taste of Italian Hot Chocolate...its sooo good!  Thicker than American Hot Chocolate...creamy...mmm...delicious!

My next favorite thing to see was the Colosseum!  Its exactly what you see in photos.  Its old and run down and missing some of the elaborate details that once made it a masterpiece.  But, it is also so massive and solid and has stood the test of thousands of years.  Its inspiring, a sign to all that you can withstand even the hardest things in life and still be beautiful....Amazing!  The Romans constructed some awesome things!!  Rome is filled with a lot of things to see...the Vatican, the Trevi Fountain, the Spanish Steps, the Forum, Palatine Hill (another one of my favorites) and lots of museums and culture to explore.  It was more of a city feel than I expected, but the history there runs deep!

Florence is filled with soo many museums and places to shop...and leather...LOTS of leather, very reasonably priced I might add...It's a busy town with lots of wonderful things to see.  I loved the stories of the Medici family.  They eventually became one of the most influential families in all of Florence, they even produced a Pope...Leo X.  Check out the Pitti Palace, which was one of their residences!  Incredible!!  The other cool place was the Florence Cathedral where you can also climb the Duomo or the Bell Tower.  Tickets to the Duomo sell out quickly so check early if you are interested in climbing it.  We ended up climbing the bell tower, which is just as exhilarating!!  The views of the city are spectacular!! Take a look...

Pisa and Lucca were fun cities as well.  Lots of shopping in Pisa and of course the main attraction, The Leaning Tower of Pisa.  We climbed the tower, which was fun and gave you a beautiful view of the surrounding city.  It was much less crowded than the other cities of Italy.  Lucca is famous for their intact Renaissance Era walls that were never breached.  It's now a pedestrian walkway which circles the entire city.  Its amazing!  Lots of families and people using it.  Such a quaint little city.  We really enjoyed visiting it!

I'm so glad we came across this trip.  It was completely unexpected, but so worth it.  I loved every second of my time there.  10 days was obviously not enough, but now we have a better idea of what we would spend more time seeing on our next trip there!  And since we rubbed the nose of the boar in the Mercato Nuovo we will be returning!!

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Heather

Highlights of 2017

2017 has been a good year for me.  I know there is a lot of bad happening in the world, but I try to find the good in things despite the bad things going on around us.


We've had some milestones as a family and individually!  We have all gone through some hard times and had some really good times blending our family.  I feel like this year has been the best year yet in terms of blending..hard, but getting stronger as a family, accepting each other and trying to find love for one another.  Here are some of my favorite moments from this year.....




In January 2017 our oldest daughter got her driver's license!!  OH No!!  Look out world here she comes!!!!!

Also in January, our 2nd oldest daughter was able to go to the LDS temple for the first time and perform baptisms for the dead!  It was such an awesome experience to have all of our children who are old enough to go be there all together for this experience!

For Spring Break in April we took a trip to California!  I was able to go to my inlaw's almond farm for the first time, Newport Beach (which was Kaylie's first time to the beach...at 13...epic mom fail!!), Disneyland and Las Vegas to visit some family!  It was a great trip...with LOTS of driving....but a week of fun!!

In May, our son Cole finished his Eagle Project.  He fundraised, bought, tied and delivered fleece blankets to the Huntsman Cancer Institute.  He did this to pay back and say thank you to them for all of the support and care they gave to his mom while she was undergoing cancer treatments.  He hopes in some way it will bring some happiness to others in that situation.  It was so rewarding as a parent seeing him not only give back, but give back to something that touched his life so deeply!  Way to go Cole!

In July I finished my VERY FIRST furniture restore!  It was so fun for me to try something new and something out of my skill set!  I enjoyed it and have done a piece or 2 since!  Check out my journey with chalk paint HERE.

In August we took an end of the summer family road trip to Bear Lake.  It was the first time some of us had been there...Check out my post about it HERE. 

In October we did family pictures!  I LOVE THEM!!  I'm grateful to my husband for putting up with this sometimes stressful addiction of mine!!

In December we started what I hope to be an annual gingerbread house/people/train decorating extravaganza with my mom and sister.  Heres the 1st annual....

And lastly, also in December is our annual Christmas Eve family selfie...it was a record this year I think we only took 5 photos!  Love this crazy tradition!!

As I look forward to 2018, the word that has become my goal is Balance.  Life is all about balance.  I need to find more of that in my life.  And I think what it really comes down to is just trying to be a little better this year than last.  Life is a progression and I want to keep moving forward, trying new things and becoming a little kinder and more centered so I can focus on what really matters to me...and that is my Family and Friends...people are what really matters in life, but all of the other distractions cause me to lose sight of that at times.  So balance has to be a priority for me this year!  Lots of new experiences are coming our way this year and I am excited to see where they take us!


Happy 2018 Everyone!!


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Heather

Festival of Trees

It's that time of year again!!  It's time for the Festival of Trees.  I love this event.  I love the meaning behind it!  I love the family time we spend there!

Here is a little history of the festival...
The Festival of Trees was inspired 46 years ago by a group of 15 women from along the Wasatch Front.  These women were challenged by Lewis M. Jones, Chairman of the hospital's Men's Endowment Board, to identify a way to raise funds for Primary Children's Hospital.  Organized as the Women's Endowment Committee and led by Betty Wells, the group sold tickets to the Ice Capades and dabbled in other projects in an attempt to raise funds.  They soon determined they had spent too much time and energy for too little return.  They searched for one project they could devote all their efforts on.
That project was inspired when Co-Chair Ruth Flint vacationed in Hawaii and attended a Christmas boutique featuring small, decorated Christmas trees, centerpieces, and Christmas decorations.  The Women's Endowment Committee expanded the concept to include full-sized decorated Christmas trees, a gift boutique, and sweet shop.  At that time, Primary Children's Hospital was owned by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and much of the support would come from church members.
That first year, there were approximately 60 trees for display and sale in the gymnasium of the old Armory off Sunnyside Avenue.  To everyone's surprise and delight, $47,000 was raised!


Today, the Festival of Trees is held at the South Towne Expo Center in Sandy, Utah.  Over the years, this beautiful event has blossomed into a festival that spans over 220,000 square feet of display space.
Perhaps the greatest phenomenon of all is that everything is donated.  The trees are decorated and purchased by individuals, families, organizations, businesses, and church groups.  In addition, others generously donate items to fill the shops.  Businesses provide the paper and printing of posters and tickets.  Corporations offer their covered trucks and drivers to help deliver the trees, and so much more!  Thousands of people contribute countless hours and means to give "A Gift of Love" to children.  In 2016. the Festival raised $2,622,903.88 for children at Primary Children's Hospital.
Over the years, Festival of Trees has been copied many times throughout the United States and Canada.  However, the Salt Lake City Festival of Trees remains the "granddaddy" of them all.


My daughter Kaylie is a talented dancer and her studio would perform every year at the Festival.  We would then spend time walking through the aisles looking at all of the beautiful trees, wreaths and gingerbread houses, etc...and who can resist all of the YUMMY food and treats you can purchase!!  BUT....our favorite part is the Kids' Corner where you can talk to an Elf at the North Pole or make awesome crafts or ornaments or even stand in a booth and be surrounded in a big giant soap bubble!!  Such a magical, fun place to be.  The feeling of joy and good wishes to all abound there.


Now we have a new reason to visit the Festival!!  Lucy and Cole, our 2 oldest, with the help of a family friend donate a tree every year in honor of their sweet mother.  They come up with a theme, shop for ornaments and then decorate the tree.  They LOVE delivery day!  They always seem so excited and really enjoy setting up their tree and honoring their mom.  I am so thankful they have this event every year to honor her and I know they love that all of the proceeds go to help children who are in need of special care too.  They get to go before the rest of our family and they usually have a tree or two that they love and want to show us in addition to their own!!


The theme they chose this year was 'dancing all night'....here are Lucy's words explaining it!!  "One of my favorite memories of my mom is her dance parties.  even when she was sick and in pain from her cancer treatments, she would turn on some music and we'd all dance it out.  these dance parties were the inspiration for this year's tree-dancing all night."
Many people remember these dance parties and talk about them fondly.  It was a blessing to them all and a sweet reminder of the woman who meant so much to so many.

It turned out beautifully!  This event is such a great reminder to me that despite all of the bad things in the world, there are also so many good things.  We must seek out the good things and share them with others.  We must be kind, happy and share our goodness with those around us and help those in need.  "As we follow the example of the Savior and live as He lived and as He taught, that light will burn within us and will light the way for others," President Thomas S. Monson


Go check out the Festival if you are able!  You'll love it and want to go back every year!


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Heather

Daily InstaGrams

Hey everyone!!  I have started an instagram account called heatherbspage where I have been posting daily general conference talks to enlighten my days...and hopefully yours!  It all started when I was looking for some daily motivation, something to get me thinking, something to bring me closer to the Savior, something to learn from.  I have followed a few accounts on Instagram myself for these talks...@gen365conf and @trekthruconference.  They are great accounts.  I even found myself sharing the talks with my family & friends.  They wanted me to text them the links to those talks.  So, instead of texting them each individually, I thought I would add them to my instagram...that way, as many as want to read them can!  The links to the talks change daily, but I have included the link in each post so you can find it if you miss a day. 

Its been fun sharing these words of wisdom with my friends and family and I'm excited to share with anyone who needs a little pick me up for the day!  Hearing the words of the prophets daily makes me feel happy, peaceful and have hope that I can continue to grow spiritually and become a better person!  I know hearing these words daily will strengthen my testimony and help me to see the positive in my life every day!

I hope you follow along with me and leave comments on your thoughts and feelings too!

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Heather

Update: Blending Families

I've been thinking a lot about how blending our family is going.  Its been 2 years since we began this journey.  We've had our ups and downs.  Learning from and with each other.  But, overall, I think we are doing a pretty great job!  The picture below is us on the 4th of July...we're all smiling right...so things must be good!!

In the beginning, parenting was difficult.  Learning how to parent other kids and them learning our different styles of parenting took some time.  But we were consistent in our expectations and made it the same for each of them.   Teaching them why they were given certain learning opportunities (our kids like to see them as punishments however) in different circumstances was also a learning curve. Each child is different and one way of doing something doesn't always work for every child however.....am I right??  😉 So we've had to adapt to that.  We also showed them that we stood together as a team and that no matter what we were going to support each other as parents and spouses.  I think that helped them to understand that they couldn't put us at odds as a couple and play us against each other. If we had a difference of opinion on how to handle something we would talk together and then make a decision together.  We also let our kids voice their opinions or reasons they disagreed with us and then consider their thoughts.  Sometimes we changed their 'punishment' and sometimes we didn't and we would explain why.  I think that helped them know that we value their input even if the outcome was the same.  We gave them a chance to speak. 

We have made an effort to do things together as a family.  We have been on a few family vacations and travelled for baseball and dance competitions.  We play games together, eat dinner together each night, we do nightly family scripture reading and prayers together, and our family home evening once a week.  We give the kids opportunities to work together on projects.  We have finally gotten into a groove with those things and I feel like we are on the right track.

I think it was a great idea to move into a new house.  Everyone had the opportunity to make their own space and place in the house.  No one had claims to any place previously and we all adapted to a new life in a new place.  We all lived upstairs while our basement was being finished and it was a little cramped, but I hope it helped grow the bonds of our new blended family.  We haven't displayed pictures of the deceased parents in the common areas of the house, but we have given each child the choice to have those things in their rooms.  The balance between moving on, but still remembering those good times and people is a funny thing.  Some of the kids tell us when they need support in those areas and other kids handle their emotions on there own.  I hope they know they can share feelings and memories they have!  We have taken some old furniture for comfort and some new things to define our style together as a family.  That has worked well.

Our children are wonderful.  They have taken this blending families thing in stride and have each made an effort to make everyone feel loved and cared for.  There are definitely times when each of them feel picked on or that they don't fit in the family.  We have had to talk through some of that and have had counseling sessions for them and continue to try to be as open as we can about things.  I think our choice to make decisions together and parent like a normal 2 parent household has really helped the strength and unity of our family, and really we are the only 2 parents our kids have now (see my previous post about helping your child grieve).  The kids have been great with one another.  If they recognize someone is going through a hard time they try to be nicer in their own ways or help out if they are asked.  I try to give them little notes of encouragement or let them know when I appreciate something they have done or noticed their efforts in trying to help another sibling.  I hope they can see my love for them through those small acts.

We are still working on our relationships every day.  We aren't finished and we know that this will be a lifetime work in progress, but we wouldn't change it.  We are loving watching our kids grow up and experience things.  Its hard to believe that our oldest will graduate high school in the spring and will leave our home, but we are confident that she will succeed and we will be there for her every step of the way.  That's what families do right?  They encourage and support both in times of trials and in times of joy.  I am so thankful to our Heavenly Father who has been there every step of the way.  He has strengthened us, buoyed us up when we felt like quitting and has provided so many answers and little every day miracles that have assisted us in building our family.  This blended family of ours is the source of our greatest happiness.  

Family Picures 2017

I don't know about you, but there is something about Family pictures that I LOVE!!  I love to see the changes in our family from year to year.  I love the memories we make when we are taking them and the fun they seem to be...mostly!  What session wouldn't be complete without the shedding of a few tears right!  😉  I am really lucky to have one of the best cousins in the world, who just happens to take amazing pictures!  I mean...check them out!

When I'm thinking of what I want the theme to be for the year, I spend LOTS of time on Pinterest or other friends photos.  I'm looking at color schemes and poses and locations.  This year I wanted a more rustic feel.  So we chose more muted colors like navy, black and jeans.  My cousin picked the location with these cool rustic barns and an old silo.  And for fun, my mom wanted to do something with Santa hats and ugly sweaters...I added the lights and we barely had time to snap a few quick ones with the kids before it got dark! 


Whatever your family photos are, do them!  Make memories and capture the changes in your family for years to  come.  Family pictures are a MUST for me!  I don't want to miss a chance to watch our family grow up!! 

In the Details

I have been blessed with some tiny miracles, some tender mercies, some little experiences that show me that God is in the details of our lives.  That He wants to be in the details of our lives.  He knows us and loves us individually.


As I have said in the recent past, I am a newly called 2nd counselor in our Young Women's presidency and I have the privilege of working with the 12-13 yr old girls in my church.  I love them!  They are full of life and energy.  They are funny and caring and kind.  It's such a joy to be able to share experiences with them.


As a challenge to them and to help them complete their personal progress, (Click on the link to find out more about that program) I have issued them a challenge to read the Book of Mormon in 90 days.  I have reading schedules and a book where they can write down their thoughts, feelings and favorite scriptures as they are reading, treats to be earned, a group text to share our thoughts with each other or to share on social media and other fun things to get them motivated to read!  (If  you are looking for some great ideas on this, check out The Red Headed Hostess!  She has some great stuff)  When I was preparing this, I kept looking for talks by our church leaders about the Book of Mormon and the blessings we receive from reading it.  I prayed for experiences outside of what I was going to do for the girls so that they would see how important it really is to study the Book of Mormon.  Each time my prayers were answered in little small ways...ways I couldn't have imagined.  Of course...because the Lord knows what each of us need to hear and how it will impact us the most!  Time after time they came....people bearing their testimonies in church about the strength the scriptures, specifically the Book of Mormon, gave to them.  At a fireside our bishop's closing statement was almost an exact copy of what one leader taught the girls in our Sunday school class about how they needed to not only know the scriptures in their minds, but they needed to feel it in their hearts by witness of the Holy Ghost that they are true. 


Then there were messages in our group text about what the scriptures meant to them and why that particular verse stood out to them.  I love hearing their thoughts and feelings.  Then one girl shared her favorite verse for the day...1 Nephi 4:6 "And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do." She then said that we should follow the spirit the first time it prompts us to do something.  It reminded me of the blessing I received when I was set apart for this calling..that I needed to act on my first impression.  Then again at a fireside I attended last night, where the incredible Josie Solomon spoke.  She too quoted that same scripture.  We need to trust in the Lord and follow Him and serve Him and our fellow man.  We never know whose live we need to touch.  We may be the only person who can touch that person in a way that will change their lives for the better.  But if we ignore that first prompting, we may miss our chance.


By the way...if you haven't read or heard Josie's story...you should!  Here is a link to her blog.  She is inspiring.  The things that she has done with her life are incredible.  She is truly amazing...a light to people.  I can't say I would fight back as hard as she does if I was in her situation.  She is a true disciple of Jesus Christ.  Just BEAUTIFUL inside and out!


I guess in short...I am saying that Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father love us.  They want to help us and they are there for us always.  Even if we can't see it at the time.  They are woven into the details of our daily lives.  I'm so thankful for this knowledge, for this inspired help and for the opportunity I have daily to make a difference in the world around me.

Today is their Anniversary

My husband is a widower.  I married him fully knowing this.  I put all of the feelings of him and his first wife aside when I decided to marry him.  I wasn't sure if I could handle them all, but I knew I loved him and I knew marrying him was right and what I wanted to do.  Sometimes her memory is hard for me.  I feel like I am the other woman.  I feel like I only got a second chance because she died.  I am afraid that I will be alone in the next life, because in my personal beliefs, this life is only part of our eternal existence.  Let me be clear, these are my feelings, not my husband's.  He NEVER compares me to Jeni.  He never makes me feel that he loves me any less than he loves her.  These are my own personal feelings that sometimes get the best of me...especially on days like today. 


Today is their wedding anniversary.  It would have been their 19th wedding anniversary.  In some ways it makes me sad and brings up all of my insecurities.  However, in some ways, it brings me joy.  She helped influence this man that I love so much.  She helped him become who he is in so many ways.  I'm sure he is more compassionate and loving because of his experiences with her.  He is so giving of himself and his time.  He understands what it means to truly love someone.  He never wants to fight or argue over things.  He is understanding and forgiving.  He is ALWAYS trying to make me happy.  He gives all he has to his family.  I know that because of her, he is this amazing person.  I also know that whatever comes in the next life, I will be happier than I ever imagined.  I know God loves me more than I know and He will make everything right so we can all be happy. 


So while I sometimes have these negative feelings eating at my heart, I am thankful for her and her influence...her goodness.  Happy Anniversary!!  I hope you are dancing with the angels in celebration and wishing you nothing but happiness and peace. ❤❤❤

Today Choose Happiness

We've all had those days when we struggle.  Your life isn't how you imagined...You aren't the perfect mom or spouse, you are yelling at your kids or loosing your patience...your house is a mess and your laundry isn't folded...you don't know what to make for dinner or you just plain don't want to make it.  There are always those thoughts in the back of our minds about how we aren't measuring up to all of the "together" mom's out there.  BUT...when you stop and think about all of the good things you DO have, doesn't that just put things back into perspective a little bit?  We don't have to be perfect to be happy!  We can be grateful for what we do have and what we can do and sometimes that is enough...YOU ARE ENOUGH. 

If you are feeling like I was today, take the time to think about all of your blessings and you will find all of the beautiful reasons you have to be happy!  For today, lets choose happiness!!

Helping your Child Grieve

A year ago, our lives were altered forever.  I received devastating news.  My ex-husband, my daughter's father had tragically died.  He committed suicide.  It was a crushing time for us.  He had a drug addiction that took him from us long before that, but to have him lose his life this way was heart breaking for us. 

I remember not knowing much about suicide.  I remember being scared for my daughter's well being and the way that this would affect her.  I talked to a counselor.  I researched suicide, the effects of losing a parent to suicide, statistical reports of suicide and survivors of suicide.  Being religious, I prayed and read talks given by the leaders of my church.  I asked Heavenly Father to help me to know what I would tell her, to give me the knowledge I needed to answer her questions, and just be there for her.

After we talked about suicide we snapped this picture. 

I love that she could smile through her tears!

I was able to find information about suicide here.  There are a lot of scary statistics and information here, but I also felt like I needed to have facts about suicide and the effects it has on those around them.  It gave me the tangible, logical information I needed to explain to my daughter that her father was sick.  He had a disease.  He was a drug addict and his brain didn't function correctly.  I also reassured her that her father loved her very much and this was in no way her fault or because of anything she did or didn't do.  We also talked about the spiritual aspects.  I found a WONDERFUL talk to help with these questions.  The title of the talk is, Suicide: Things we know and some we do not, by M. Russell Ballard, who is a member of the quorum of the twelve apostles in my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  You can find the talk here.  His words not only comforted me, but gave me the very answers I needed to help my young daughter understand that this was not the end for her father and that he could still continue to learn and grow and evolve now that he was freed from his earthly demons. She now has the comfort of knowing that her dad is safe, no one can hurt him and she always knows where he is.

My cute, sweet, sensitive daughter has amazed me through all of this.  She has a very good understanding of her feelings and how to get a handle on them.  She went through a small amount of counseling to help her navigate the sadness of this tragedy, but she is excelling.  She is a straight A student, a member of the  National Junior Honor Society, she dances competitively, and she is the class president of her church class organization.  She misses her dad every day.  She is sometimes sad, but she pushes through the sadness and decides to find the happy side of life and the blessings she does have.  She amazes me daily with her strength and determination to spread happiness in the world instead of let this event define her.  She is an example to me....and She can do Hard Things!

I know that this is not the end of the struggle of him not being a part of her life, but through our faith in Jesus Christ, we can be healed.  We can continue to move forward and find happiness.  Jesus overcame the world so we can too.  He did hard things and so can we!!  I'm thankful for Him, for families and for the happiness there is to be found in this world.  Don't give up..there is help out there. 

"As I think about the worry and agony of those whose loved one has taken his or her own life, I find deep comfort and faith in the Lord’s promise and blessing to us who remain in mortality: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27.)" -M. Russell Ballard

Its Easter Time Again

I don't know about you, but Easter is one of my favorite holidays.  The beginning of Spring, time to spend with family, coloring eggs and Easter egg hunts, lots of food and my favorite part about Easter??  Its remembering the Savior Jesus Christ, the Atonement, the love he has for each one of us, the opportunity we have to repent and try again.  Because of Him all of these things are possible.

My Easter day usually consists of my church meetings, an Easter egg hunt with my family and lots of yummy delicious food!

We usually try to color our eggs the day before Easter and that silly bunny ALWAYS hides them from us!!  We used a dye kit this year and did some of them that way, but then we also used whipping cream and food coloring and let the eggs just sit in that for awhile.  Some of them worked!  It was fun to try something new this year!!

This is a few of us after the Easter egg hunt sorting through the spoils of the day!!  We have the Easter egg hunt at my aunt's home.  She has a lot of property with horses, a barn and a chicken coop and is the perfect place for the egg hunt!  We are so thankful she hosts this event every year!!  Candy, money and an Easter basket for everyone!!  That sneaky bunny really knows how to help us have a good time together!

The day isn't complete without a family picture to remember the event!  Thank goodness our kids are all accepting of my photo obsession!! 


I hope your day is filled with the memories of a loving brother, Jesus Christ and his atonement, with food, family & lots of fun!  HAPPY EASTER!!!


💗💗💗💗💗💗
Heather

Valentines 2016

This year for Valentine's Day we decided we would surprise our Gram!!  We snuck over to her house when we knew she wouldn't be home and we wrote messages to her on paper hearts and left her favorite ice cream, Baskin Robbins Nutty Coconut, for her in the freezer!  She absolutely loved it!  And she was completely surprised!!

Happy Valentine's Day Gram!!


What are your Valentine's Day traditions??

Provo City Center Open House

Today we were able to attend the Provo City Center Temple open house.  It was FREEZING!  But soo worth it!  I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  We believe that sacred ordinances are performed in temples.  Learn more about temples HERE.


This temple was so beautiful.  It is the 2nd temple in Provo and was previously the Provo Tabernacle until it was destroyed by a fire.  Read more about its history HERE.  I am thankful we were able to walk through it with our family before it was dedicated.  Our kids loved the baptismal font and the celestial room.  I think what they loved most was being able to experience it with their cousins!


I'm thankful for my beliefs and for the Savior Jesus Christ and for all of the people who worked so hard to bring this blessing of the temple to us all.

💗💗💗💗💗💗
Heather

Blending Families

We are happy.  We are marrying the person with don't want to live without.  We are in love.  We are also blinded slightly by this said love!  You see, we have 3 teenage children, ages 15, 13, and 12, and 1 little, age 5.  We love them.  We love each other.  They all love each other...don't they?  Wait!!!!...They barely know each other and the new 'step' parent....this is all going to work out right...the 'happily ever after' we wanted??  Whose idea was this anyway??  I'm sure that is how many people feel.  And the thought did cross my mind!

We are not naive to the fact that we are trying to blend families with teenagers, and That.Is.Hard!  No matter how great the kids are (and ours are), it is difficult to take 2 families and make them one.  Especially in circumstances like ours...one parent lost to a horrible disease-cancer...and the other to divorce and drugs.  Our children have already been through some really difficult times.  And now, they have another challenge to handle....a blended family.

I read once that it takes 5 years to blend a family.  5 years??  That is a lifetime.  There are routines and the way they used to do it and the way you used to do it...and new roles to learn....and the hierachy of the new family....and the way discipline is handled.....and having a 2 parent household again....and traditions....and extended families....and how do you incorporate the missing parents...is anyone else feeling overwhelmed yet?  And all that comes after the marriage, but....What about where will  you live? Will they have to attend new schools?  Make new friends?  There is alot to consider when blending families.

This topic has been stressful for Rex and I to navigate through.  We have had many discussions on how we are going to handle these issues.  We had a struggle about where we were going to live.  I wanted to stay where I was and what my daughter was used to and he had promised his children that they would not have to move after their mother passed away.  It was something he felt very strongly about.  I was so conflicted with that decision.  We looked at houses in both places, but mostly closer to him.  When we found our house, I knew it was the right place for us to be.  We were under contract for another house, but that fell through when the square footage was off and they would not lower their price...so we began looking again.  When we found this house, it just felt right.  We knew this was the place we needed to be.  I'm sure it will be a blessing to all of us.  Only time will tell that!

As far as all of the other struggles for blending families, we have decided to parent together.  This may be hard in the beginning for everyone to adjust to, but we feel that we have to make decisions together and stand united so that we can be a stronger foundation for our children and so they can also see what a family unit looks like.  I'm sure there will be some struggles with this, especially when discipline is concerned, but we are going to take it day by day and then evaluate how its working for us and adjust as needed.  We have tried to incorporate a little of the old for each child both in structure and decor and then some new that pulls our new family together.

We have contact with our extended families as well as our past spouses families and we are working to build relationships with them and keep our kids as involved in those relationships as they want.  Distance is an issue, but we are working on keeping an open line of communication for all that want to be involved.  And I must say...we are so blessed.  We have some of the most caring people in our families & extended families.  We could not be happier with the support we have received.

The last thing that weighs on my mind is that if it really does take 5 years to blend a family, our children will be moved out before then.  Our oldest only has 3 years left at home before she leaves for college and is out on her own.  How I love these kids I've been blessed with to have in my family.  I hope in that short time I can develop lasting relationships and instill in them my love for each one of them.  I struggle with the fact that I will be coming into their lives during some of the most difficult times they will endure which may require some of that discipline we were just talking about.  I don't want them  to see that as punishment, but more as guidance because I care about them.  I want them to know that I love them and that I am there for them through anything they are going through.

Raising kids is hard and sometimes being a step parent is even harder!!  But we have to keep loving and keep hoping and keep trying even through those times of wanting to give up!  I have to think there will be some of those days for all of us out there!  Our 'Happily Ever After' can come though, through hard work, prayer and persistence.  I'm grateful for this new family and look forward to the new adventures together!