God Loves Broken Things

I am constantly looking for other women who are going through or have been through the same things I am struggling with.  Blending families, divorce, remarriage, raising kids...whatever it is.  It seems like it is always easy to find the negative or discouraging things out there, and I know that is part of the journey, but its so special and uplifting to me when I find someone who can be in the midst of a trial, but still be trying to find happiness. And can show that happiness throughout their struggle.  Not every day maybe, but more than they are projecting negativity, and also that they can show they are making it through and so can I.   It's the way I want to live, the way I am trying to live, although I know I need to work on that a lot!

Yesterday I came across Calee Reed.  She is a motivational speaker and a songwriter, singer.  She spoke in Time Out for Women in 2017 and talked about a song she absolutely loves called "Broken" by Kenneth Cope.  She also talked about a form of Japanese art called Kintsugi.  It means to repair with gold; the art of repairing pottery with lacquer and gold or silver powder, understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.



She goes on to say that she hopes that as she comes closer to the Savior that He can make something beautiful of her broken pieces.  And I just LOVE THAT!  Don't we all feel like we have so many broken parts of us?  There are so many things that we find ugly within ourselves..things we want to just hide away, but with the love of our Savior and His refining power He is able to put those pieces back together in a way that is beautiful and powerful and we can see His light within ourselves.  I love this image and imaging His love woven through the cracks in our lives and the love that we feel knowing of His love for us.  And hopefully others will be able to see that too!

I love this message.  I love that others help us on our journeys.  I love that God loves us so much that He uses us to help each other.  I love that through our brokeness (Is that even a word??)  that we become better beings and closer to what He wants us to become.


Here are the words to "Broken" and also a link to her cover of the song:

BROKEN (Words by Kenneth Cope; Music by Kenneth & Eliza Cope) —inspired by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Broken clouds give rain
Broken soil grows grain
Broken bread feeds man for one more day

Broken storms yield light
The break of day heals night
Broken pride turns blindness into sight

Broken souls that need His mending
Broken hearts for offering
Could it be that God loves broken things

Broken chains set free
Broken swords bring peace
Broken walls make friends of you and me

To break the ranks of sin
To break the news of Him
To put on Christ till His name feels broken in

Broken souls that need His mending
Broken hearts for offering
I believe that God loves broken things

And yet, our broken faith, our broken promises
Sent love to the cross
And still, that broken flesh, that broken heart of His
Offers us such grace and mercy
Covers us with love undeserving

This broken soul that cries for mending
This broken heart for offering
I’m convinced that God loves broken me
Praise His name—my God loves broken things
So, broken cloud—Give rain
And broken soil—Grow grain
And broken bread—Feed man for one more day

Calee Reed cover of Broken



Happy Wednesday Everyone! ❤

💗💗💗💗💗💗
Heather

Update: Blending Families

I've been thinking a lot about how blending our family is going.  Its been 2 years since we began this journey.  We've had our ups and downs.  Learning from and with each other.  But, overall, I think we are doing a pretty great job!  The picture below is us on the 4th of July...we're all smiling right...so things must be good!!

In the beginning, parenting was difficult.  Learning how to parent other kids and them learning our different styles of parenting took some time.  But we were consistent in our expectations and made it the same for each of them.   Teaching them why they were given certain learning opportunities (our kids like to see them as punishments however) in different circumstances was also a learning curve. Each child is different and one way of doing something doesn't always work for every child however.....am I right??  😉 So we've had to adapt to that.  We also showed them that we stood together as a team and that no matter what we were going to support each other as parents and spouses.  I think that helped them to understand that they couldn't put us at odds as a couple and play us against each other. If we had a difference of opinion on how to handle something we would talk together and then make a decision together.  We also let our kids voice their opinions or reasons they disagreed with us and then consider their thoughts.  Sometimes we changed their 'punishment' and sometimes we didn't and we would explain why.  I think that helped them know that we value their input even if the outcome was the same.  We gave them a chance to speak. 

We have made an effort to do things together as a family.  We have been on a few family vacations and travelled for baseball and dance competitions.  We play games together, eat dinner together each night, we do nightly family scripture reading and prayers together, and our family home evening once a week.  We give the kids opportunities to work together on projects.  We have finally gotten into a groove with those things and I feel like we are on the right track.

I think it was a great idea to move into a new house.  Everyone had the opportunity to make their own space and place in the house.  No one had claims to any place previously and we all adapted to a new life in a new place.  We all lived upstairs while our basement was being finished and it was a little cramped, but I hope it helped grow the bonds of our new blended family.  We haven't displayed pictures of the deceased parents in the common areas of the house, but we have given each child the choice to have those things in their rooms.  The balance between moving on, but still remembering those good times and people is a funny thing.  Some of the kids tell us when they need support in those areas and other kids handle their emotions on there own.  I hope they know they can share feelings and memories they have!  We have taken some old furniture for comfort and some new things to define our style together as a family.  That has worked well.

Our children are wonderful.  They have taken this blending families thing in stride and have each made an effort to make everyone feel loved and cared for.  There are definitely times when each of them feel picked on or that they don't fit in the family.  We have had to talk through some of that and have had counseling sessions for them and continue to try to be as open as we can about things.  I think our choice to make decisions together and parent like a normal 2 parent household has really helped the strength and unity of our family, and really we are the only 2 parents our kids have now (see my previous post about helping your child grieve).  The kids have been great with one another.  If they recognize someone is going through a hard time they try to be nicer in their own ways or help out if they are asked.  I try to give them little notes of encouragement or let them know when I appreciate something they have done or noticed their efforts in trying to help another sibling.  I hope they can see my love for them through those small acts.

We are still working on our relationships every day.  We aren't finished and we know that this will be a lifetime work in progress, but we wouldn't change it.  We are loving watching our kids grow up and experience things.  Its hard to believe that our oldest will graduate high school in the spring and will leave our home, but we are confident that she will succeed and we will be there for her every step of the way.  That's what families do right?  They encourage and support both in times of trials and in times of joy.  I am so thankful to our Heavenly Father who has been there every step of the way.  He has strengthened us, buoyed us up when we felt like quitting and has provided so many answers and little every day miracles that have assisted us in building our family.  This blended family of ours is the source of our greatest happiness.  

What's your Why??

Today while scrolling my Instagram feed I came across a post from @mintarrow asking "What's your Why?"  It got me thinking about why I do what I do in my life.  Why I married a widower, why I raise these adorable kids, why I go to work every day, why I try so hard to treat others with kindness, why I work so hard in my church callings and share my feelings about God.

I do it because, like many others I'm sure, I feel good and successful and blessed beyond measure.  I want to share my experiences with others and hope that it helps someone else. I raise these kids because they deserve as much love as they can get...even when their biological mother isn't me, but I love them (and my biological child) and they are my kids none the less.  I love my husband beyond what I thought possible.  I can't imagine my life without him & so of course I want to do as much as I can for him.  I work hard so we can all play hard, so I can learn new things & meet new people.  I love my church and the people I meet there.  I love the teachings and lessons about God.  I am forever grateful for the knowledge of my Savior and the wonderful blessings I receive because of HIM.

So the underlying message here is LOVE.  I live my life in hopes to show others love.  I have my weaknesses though and love doesn't always win out.  I'm moody, tired, stressed, overworked and underpaid just like everyone else, but I'm trying to build people up instead of drag them down.  I love my family.  I feel so blessed to call them mine.  I have so much fun with them and I love the time we are all able to spend together.  I love the stages of life they are at, I love to see them learning and growing.  I love hearing them laugh and building these memories with them.

So tell me...what's your why??



It's Our Wedding Day

It's finally here!!  We have been planning and waiting for this day for awhile!  We have had plenty of things to do to keep us busy, but I'm so excited to marry my best friend today!!  We are being sealed in the Salt Lake Temple.  It has been my dream since I was a little girl to be married to my husband in this temple.  I have never gone into the Salt Lake Temple before today.  I wanted it to be something I shared for the first time with my husband, my eternal companion.   And it was! 

I love that I was able to promise my husband forever.  I'm thankful for a loving Heavenly Father that promises eternal life for all of those who choose to follow His son Jesus Christ.  Today we promised each other FOREVER!  We get to start that journey now!!

I am ALL about selfies...so this day isn't complete without one!  We took a break from the normal photo barrage that happens after you are married to snap a quick pic together.  By the way...we had the BEST photographer!  Her name is Jamie Findlay...you can find her info here....she is amazing!  Check her out!

And then there was our reception!  It turned out better than I could have imagined! If you are looking for someone to transform your backyard...check out KNL!  They were so fun and easy to work with!  It was our backyard full of the people we love, who we were lucky enough to spend the day with...and of course...my obsession....WAFFLE LOVE!  They catered our wedding, food truck and all!  It was so much fun! 

 



As I reflect on this day, it was so different from my first marriage.  It was perfect right from the start.  No stress, no worries, no arguing or people not getting along...just happiness.  It was easy and everything fell into place.  This is what a marriage should be....no drama, but complete happiness and peace.  I know that this is right, no matter what other problems or differences we may have in the future.  Heavenly Father brought us together for a purpose we probably don't even understand yet, but I know that we will love each other and help each other through what comes next!!  I'm so excited to start this chapter of my life with the guy who has completed me, who loves me even when I'm not at my best, and who keeps encouraging me and giving me the strength to keep living life in incredible ways!  I love you now (and always) Goodman!  I'm so happy to share my life with you!