Updated: Blended Families Part 3

Here we are again...another year gone by and more lessons learned in the world of blending families.

We have been married for 3 years now.  This year has had it's up and downs too.  I feel like this year has been smoother in most aspects.  Everyone knows the rules and has their own space.  They are integrated into their schools and social lives.  They are thriving and are such great kids.  Rex and I always comment on how our kids have been through so many hard things and yet, they are great kids.  They don't have major issues, just the normal growing pains.  They might be intensified by their losses, but they are amazing and always find a way to cope.  We feel so lucky to be their parents.

This year our oldest daughter, Lucy, graduated from high school and left for college.  This totally changed the dynamic of our home.  She was the most responsible one.  The one who helped and nurtured our youngest the most.  She was the one we knew we could rely on.  BUT...it was time for her to start her own journey, which we are thrilled for.  She has been looking forward to this for a long time and we know she will do great!

The other kids are adapting to life without Lucy.  They are building their relationships with each other much more.  They are coming closer and learning more about one another, which doesn't always result in happy endings.  There is still teasing and fighting and learning that they aren't always right, but I would say that overall they are doing great!  Cole is now the oldest child at home and he has taken that role on willingly and does what he can to help his siblings and us, the parents as they like to call us!  Kaylie is becoming the fun sibling that Cecelia needs and entertains her and does fun things with her.  Cecelia is growing up quickly.  She is curious about the things around her, which sometimes gets her into trouble because she is always wanting to try new things!  There are small changes in the household like chore charts and other household responsibilities, bedtimes, who gets to stay home and watch Cecelia instead of going out with their friends, and who gets to pray or read scriptures AGAIN since you just did it at the first of the week, but it's your turn again.

Rex is amazing as always.  His patience with all of this is almost superhuman.  He is constantly building me up and helping me through the challenges of life.  We still make all of our decisions together...kids, house, work, everything really.  It makes it easy to support each other and our family because we both have ownership of the life we are building together.  I know that doesn't work in everyone's situation, but for us that has been essential.

We are excited to see what great things are to come this year!  We feel lucky to have so much love and support from our families and friends!!  This blended family business is challenging at times, but it is so worth it every day!!  Here's to another year!!!

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Heather

Spreading Love

My sweet friend lost her dear mom over the weekend.  To brighten her day after the long, grueling day of the funeral, I had the young women and other leaders I work with in my church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, write little notes of love and appreciation for my sweet friend and her daughter.

On the day of the funeral, I snuck over to her house with my little 8 yr old and we put them on her door!!

Just one small way to show her how much we love and appreciate her.  I hope it was a little moment of happy in her day.

"Never suppress a generous thought" -Camilla Eyring Kimball


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Heather

Happy 3rd Anniversary to Us!

I can't believe I've been married to my dream man for 3 yrs.  3yrs on the 3rd....Isn't there a special name for that...when your anniversary falls on the date you were married?  Well in my world its a celebration!!

This year it was on a Sunday!  So...we did the things we would normally do, like church and hung out with the kids....all except when our youngest threw up at the dinner table!  Not awesome!!  We made sure she was alright and then it was off to Anniversary Inn...(check it out if you haven't been, it was awesome).  We had treats and watched movies & just enjoyed our time together.  Since our anniversary falls over Labor Day, we had Monday to hang out together.  We checked out a reclaimed wood store we have wanted to visit, but it was CLOSED!  So being our fun selves...we headed home!!

I love that we can have fun just hanging out together, doing the normal every day things that a family does.  That is what a real relationship is to me.  Its not just the going out every night, spending money and impressing each other...its the real things of life...the good and the hard things, but we face them all together.  Thanks for sticking with me Goodman!  We make a great team!!

Happy Anniversary!


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Heather

4th First Date

It's that time again...the time when we get to celebrate our first date EVER!!  We are so thankful that we found each other.  With all the crazy of 4 kids and real lives, we think its important to take the time to celebrate us and our relationship.  So we went back to the place where it all started.  Dinner and taking in some us time at City Creek.  Simple, but fun to reminisce how WE came to be!

So thankful for this guy and all of the happiness he brings into my life!  Love you more every day Goodman 💜


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Heather

It's Baptism Day!!

There have been so many special moments for our family over the last couple of weeks.  And today...we get to celebrate one more!!  Today is Cecelia's baptism day.  In our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, when we turn 8, we get to choose if we want to become a member.  If we do, we are able to be baptized and make a promise to Heavenly Father that we will follow His commandments and try to follow the example of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  Also on that special day, we receive a gift from Heavenly Father, the gift of the Holy Ghost...he gets to be with us all the time!  He helps us to know what is right in all the things we do.

Cecelia has decided to become the newest member of our ward and be baptized.  She is so excited to be baptized.  She was able to choose whether Dad or Cole was going to baptize her...and she chose Dad.  She also decided that she wanted to wear Kaylie's baptism dress since she wore Lucy's for her pictures.  She is so excited that her friends and family are going to be there to watch her....she is also hoping that her mom, Jeni will be there too.  I told her I thought she would be.

After her baptism, as she was coming out of the font, she looked at me and said, "Mom, its soo cool that my old mom got to see that!"  We're all so glad we got to be a part of this special day!!  Cecelia we love you and are so excited for you to continue to grow and learn more about our Savior Jesus Christ and His ministry.   Happy Baptism Day sweet girl!!

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Heather

Cecelia is turning 8

Cecelia is 8!!  I can hardly believe it!!  When I met this sweet little girl she was 4 yrs old.  She still has her beautiful curly hair, but she is much taller and so full of life.  

This year for her birthday, she wanted to have a camping party...so we made her a campfire cake to eat with our family on her actual birthday after her favorite meal of McDonald's chicken nugget happy meal, with fries, apple slices and chocolate milk....

And then for her birthday party, we made her a "Smores Cake", which consisted of a tray of graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate bars so the kids could make their own smores in the fire pit after a hot dog or two.

We had some crafts to make, a tent to crawl though and lots of food, family and friends to share it with!!  All of the campers seemed to have fun!  But this...this is my favorite camper...

Such a good helper and a wonderful father!!  He is there to do whatever it takes to make sure these events are successful!!  We are lucky to have such a dedicated guy around!  He makes everything more fun!

Happy 8th Birthday Cecelia!!  We love your smile and love creating these memories with you!!

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Heather

Spring Break 2018

This is the last Spring Break before our daughter heads off to college.  We offered a few choices of where we might go for spring break and she chose to see 4 National Parks; Kolob Canyon, Bryce Canyon, Capitol Reef and Canyonlands National Park.  They were awesome!!  So amazing that these places exist....Beautiful beyond belief!!  Make sure to see the petroglyphs in Canyonlands at Newspaper Rock.  We all loved seeing those.  Amazing that they have survived this long!!

We decided to get the America the Beautiful Pass.  It's basically a year of unlimited access to any National Park.  It was $80, but well worth it.  It saved us time when entering the parks and we only had to pay once!  If you are visiting enough parks to make it worth buying then you definitely should.  They sell them at most of the visitor's centers.  I have linked the website to the pass above that you can check out and see where to buy them!!

We did 4 parks in 5 days with 4 kids, 2 parents stuffed into a Toyota Highlander, 24 hrs of driving, 2 stopping places and LOTS of fun!!  The kids were great!  I prepared ahead of time with some car games.  I found some great websites, Landeelu.com and Mum in the Madhouse for some games to play while driving.  And of course we played some of the classics..the alphabet game, the name game using the alphabet, and the license plate game, which we found all but 12 states!  Everyone wanted Hawaii, but no luck!!  We even drove around the outlook parking places looking for different license plates!!  We had a lot of fun just being together and seeing all of the beautiful landscapes of the national parks!  We had to stop at the Visitor's Center of each park and get a window sticker for our oldest to put on her hydroflask.  Of course there was time for sleeping and also for using their electronics.  I did like that most of the time there was no cell service.  It really gave us a chance to interact and spend uninterrupted time together!  Here are a few of the sites.....

Kolob Canyon

Bryce Canyon

Mesa Arch at Canyonlands

Capitol Reef

It was so much fun to hang out with our kiddos and make some memories!!  I treasure each family vacation we take.  Not only do we get to see cool things, we get to grow closer together as a family and build our family relationships.  If you read my blog you know that we are a blended family.  It is essential to me to spend as much time together as we can.  We only have a few short years to live all in the same place & build our relationships so these times are priceless to me!  Love this family of mine!!

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Heather

Rainbow Love Notes

Sometimes as a stepmom I wonder if I'm doing it right, if I do enough, if I am enough, if these littles (and not so littles) entrusted to me feel enough love and support.  Its a challenging situation when you are blending families.

This weekend my daughter and I were out of town at a dance competition.  And when we came home, this is what we found....

What a precious little gift.  My cute little 7yr old made this adorable card for us during sacrament meeting and had each of the family members sign it.  Such a sweet sentiment for this mom!  I love this family.  I love being a part of it and I love that as time moves forward we are able to share more love and kindness with each other...especially ones with handmade rainbow love notes!!

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Heather

Ding Dong Ditched

We are working on creating unity in our young women's group at church.  To follow up with our lesson on Sunday, the group I get to work with, 12yr-13yr old girls, did a fun little activity. 

I found these cute tags at Poppies at Play and we wrote little notes to each girl in our group and doorbell ditched them!  It was a fun way to let the other girls know we were thinking of them and for the girls doing the ditching it was a fun activity!  So much laughing and encouraging each other to run fast and not get caught!

I had ditched the 12 & 13yr olds earlier in the week to give them a hint at what we would be doing for our activity!

Check out the link above to get the free printable!!

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Heather

Italy 2018

Italy has never been on my bucket list...but it should have been!!  We had the wonderful opportunity to go to Tuscany this year.  We found an amazing deal that we just couldn't pass up!!


I get emails from a website called Travelzoo.  If you don't subscribe to them and you love to travel, you really should subscribe!!  They have some really great opportunities to travel on a budget. This particular trip caught us by surprise.  Next up on my bucket list was England.  When the deal for Italy came about I sent it to my husband just joking, but SURPRISE...the joke was on me...he said to book it!  So after some research, we did!  We did extend the trip by a couple of days so that we could also go to Rome.  We ended up visiting Montecatini, Florence, Pisa, Lucca, Venice and Rome in 10 days.  It was beautiful.  The weather was great.  We were a little worried going in January/February as it is their rainy season, but it only rained for a couple of hours one day.  I would definitely go again during the off season....less crowds, much cooler and still so many amazing things to see!

We rented a car in Milan and drove to Montecatini, Venice and back to Milan.  It was fun to see the actual country and make pit stops wherever we wanted.  They drive on the same side of the street as we do in America so that wasn't an issue.  They do have toll roads and learning to navigate those was a little tricky since we aren't accustom to them in our neck of the woods here in America, but you can pay either with Euros or a credit card.  The city streets are a little harder to get around on as they are curvy and the streets aren't well marked in some parts of the country.  We didn't drive into most of the cities in Italy.  I would definitely recommend taking public transportation.  Their transportation system is superb.  We took the Metros, the high speed trains and the buses.  Its very easy to navigate & using Google Maps makes it simple to know what form of transportation you need & where to pick it up! 

We got some of the passes to see things while in Florence and Rome.  The Firenze Pass in Florence and the Roma Pass in Rome.  They essentially get you into some museums, skip the lines and allow you to take public transit for less money.  They both have time restraints so be sure to plan ahead with the things you want to see & do them according to your passes.

We used Rick Steves ' Italy book ALOT!!  He has so much good information and we followed alot of what he says.  His maps of the cities were very helpful and just his details of the cities made it much easier to get around and to determine what was a priority to see.  I would recommend at least giving it a quick read of the places you are thinking of visiting!!

My favorite city was Venice.  There is something about a city on the water.  Bridges connecting you to everything.  Old buildings and the smell of baked goods wafting through the streets.  The old architecture of the buildings and the stories of the infancy of the city.  Its rustic and charming and beautiful.  Oh and it's where I had my first taste of Italian Hot Chocolate...its sooo good!  Thicker than American Hot Chocolate...creamy...mmm...delicious!

My next favorite thing to see was the Colosseum!  Its exactly what you see in photos.  Its old and run down and missing some of the elaborate details that once made it a masterpiece.  But, it is also so massive and solid and has stood the test of thousands of years.  Its inspiring, a sign to all that you can withstand even the hardest things in life and still be beautiful....Amazing!  The Romans constructed some awesome things!!  Rome is filled with a lot of things to see...the Vatican, the Trevi Fountain, the Spanish Steps, the Forum, Palatine Hill (another one of my favorites) and lots of museums and culture to explore.  It was more of a city feel than I expected, but the history there runs deep!

Florence is filled with soo many museums and places to shop...and leather...LOTS of leather, very reasonably priced I might add...It's a busy town with lots of wonderful things to see.  I loved the stories of the Medici family.  They eventually became one of the most influential families in all of Florence, they even produced a Pope...Leo X.  Check out the Pitti Palace, which was one of their residences!  Incredible!!  The other cool place was the Florence Cathedral where you can also climb the Duomo or the Bell Tower.  Tickets to the Duomo sell out quickly so check early if you are interested in climbing it.  We ended up climbing the bell tower, which is just as exhilarating!!  The views of the city are spectacular!! Take a look...

Pisa and Lucca were fun cities as well.  Lots of shopping in Pisa and of course the main attraction, The Leaning Tower of Pisa.  We climbed the tower, which was fun and gave you a beautiful view of the surrounding city.  It was much less crowded than the other cities of Italy.  Lucca is famous for their intact Renaissance Era walls that were never breached.  It's now a pedestrian walkway which circles the entire city.  Its amazing!  Lots of families and people using it.  Such a quaint little city.  We really enjoyed visiting it!

I'm so glad we came across this trip.  It was completely unexpected, but so worth it.  I loved every second of my time there.  10 days was obviously not enough, but now we have a better idea of what we would spend more time seeing on our next trip there!  And since we rubbed the nose of the boar in the Mercato Nuovo we will be returning!!

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Heather

Christmas Crack

It's that time of year again.  Yummy treats smelling up the kitchen, snuggling up on the couch to watch Hallmark movies!  Its the best time of the year for me!  Another couple of weeks and my tree with will be up and my house all decked out with Christmas gear, maybe a Christmas craft or two.  The best time of the year!  I know its not quite here, but I couldn't help myself this year...I had to start the treats a little early!!  This seriously has to be my FAVORITE Christmas treat...really, it's probably one of my very most favorite treats period!  And I might eat it throughout the year, not just at Christmastime.  Its so simple and takes about 10 minutes from start to finish!!   

Hope you will try it and enjoy it with your families this year!!  What is your favorite treat to share with your family?? 




The recipe is below or click HERE for a printable version!

Christmas Crack

Ingredients

6 cups Chex Corn Cereal

6 cups Golden Grahams Cereal

2 cups shredded coconut

2 cups sliced almonds

1 cup light corn syrup

1 cup sugar

¾ cup butter

Instructions

In a large bowl, mix the Chex Corn cereal, Golden Grahams Cereal, shredded coconut, ans sliced almonds.  Set aside.

In a medium saucepan over medium high heat, combine the corn syrup, sugar and butter.  Bring to a boil for about 2 minutes.  Remove from heat and let cool for about 2 minutes.

Pour over the cereal mix and mix well until the cereal is coated.  Spread on a cookie sheet to cool.  Store in an airtight container to keep from drying out.

An Attitude of Gratitude

I've been looking for something to help bring a positive feeling into our home and to get everyone in the spirit of Thanksgiving this year.  So of course I turned to Pinterest!  There are so many great ideas out there.  I decided that I would make it really simple in hopes that we would all follow through and it would be meaningful in some way to each of us!


I decided to make a Gratitude Jar and leave little note size papers next to the jar so we could write down what we are thankful for each day.  I kept it REALLY simple and just made a little tag and tied a piece of ribbon around the jar and put it on our counter where we will see it every day! I told the kids to write down something they are thankful for each day.  They were asking how many they could do a day...I think they might be writing some crazy things down, but I'm glad they are still getting involved and hopefully by the time Thanksgiving rolls around we can have enough to read and remember over the month that we are very blessed.  Love those kids!! 💛


Super easy right!!!??  I've included a free printable, but I kinda changed mine up...so it looks a little different than the picture of my jar! 
What are your traditions for bringing an attitude of gratitude into your homes??

"A grateful heart … comes through expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His blessings and to those around us for all that they bring into our lives."   --President Thomas S. Monson

Free Printable Here

Family Picures 2017

I don't know about you, but there is something about Family pictures that I LOVE!!  I love to see the changes in our family from year to year.  I love the memories we make when we are taking them and the fun they seem to be...mostly!  What session wouldn't be complete without the shedding of a few tears right!  😉  I am really lucky to have one of the best cousins in the world, who just happens to take amazing pictures!  I mean...check them out!

When I'm thinking of what I want the theme to be for the year, I spend LOTS of time on Pinterest or other friends photos.  I'm looking at color schemes and poses and locations.  This year I wanted a more rustic feel.  So we chose more muted colors like navy, black and jeans.  My cousin picked the location with these cool rustic barns and an old silo.  And for fun, my mom wanted to do something with Santa hats and ugly sweaters...I added the lights and we barely had time to snap a few quick ones with the kids before it got dark! 


Whatever your family photos are, do them!  Make memories and capture the changes in your family for years to  come.  Family pictures are a MUST for me!  I don't want to miss a chance to watch our family grow up!! 

In the Details

I have been blessed with some tiny miracles, some tender mercies, some little experiences that show me that God is in the details of our lives.  That He wants to be in the details of our lives.  He knows us and loves us individually.


As I have said in the recent past, I am a newly called 2nd counselor in our Young Women's presidency and I have the privilege of working with the 12-13 yr old girls in my church.  I love them!  They are full of life and energy.  They are funny and caring and kind.  It's such a joy to be able to share experiences with them.


As a challenge to them and to help them complete their personal progress, (Click on the link to find out more about that program) I have issued them a challenge to read the Book of Mormon in 90 days.  I have reading schedules and a book where they can write down their thoughts, feelings and favorite scriptures as they are reading, treats to be earned, a group text to share our thoughts with each other or to share on social media and other fun things to get them motivated to read!  (If  you are looking for some great ideas on this, check out The Red Headed Hostess!  She has some great stuff)  When I was preparing this, I kept looking for talks by our church leaders about the Book of Mormon and the blessings we receive from reading it.  I prayed for experiences outside of what I was going to do for the girls so that they would see how important it really is to study the Book of Mormon.  Each time my prayers were answered in little small ways...ways I couldn't have imagined.  Of course...because the Lord knows what each of us need to hear and how it will impact us the most!  Time after time they came....people bearing their testimonies in church about the strength the scriptures, specifically the Book of Mormon, gave to them.  At a fireside our bishop's closing statement was almost an exact copy of what one leader taught the girls in our Sunday school class about how they needed to not only know the scriptures in their minds, but they needed to feel it in their hearts by witness of the Holy Ghost that they are true. 


Then there were messages in our group text about what the scriptures meant to them and why that particular verse stood out to them.  I love hearing their thoughts and feelings.  Then one girl shared her favorite verse for the day...1 Nephi 4:6 "And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do." She then said that we should follow the spirit the first time it prompts us to do something.  It reminded me of the blessing I received when I was set apart for this calling..that I needed to act on my first impression.  Then again at a fireside I attended last night, where the incredible Josie Solomon spoke.  She too quoted that same scripture.  We need to trust in the Lord and follow Him and serve Him and our fellow man.  We never know whose live we need to touch.  We may be the only person who can touch that person in a way that will change their lives for the better.  But if we ignore that first prompting, we may miss our chance.


By the way...if you haven't read or heard Josie's story...you should!  Here is a link to her blog.  She is inspiring.  The things that she has done with her life are incredible.  She is truly amazing...a light to people.  I can't say I would fight back as hard as she does if I was in her situation.  She is a true disciple of Jesus Christ.  Just BEAUTIFUL inside and out!


I guess in short...I am saying that Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father love us.  They want to help us and they are there for us always.  Even if we can't see it at the time.  They are woven into the details of our daily lives.  I'm so thankful for this knowledge, for this inspired help and for the opportunity I have daily to make a difference in the world around me.

Love you to Pieces

I was recently called to serve as 2nd counselor in our young women's presidency in my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I had a really cool experience with this.  I knew that our current leaders were being released, because I was an advisor within the Beehive class.  I had only been in a few months so I wasn't surprised when I didn't get a message that I was also going to be released.  NEVER did I think I would be called to the presidency.  One of the other advisors was teasing me that I would be the new "Beehive President", which is the 2nd counsel of  the presidency...right I thought...but then I had  gentle reminder that Heavenly Father calls who he knows is the right fit at the right time.  I remember thinking...Ok Heavenly Father, if you want me to have this calling and work with these amazing young women, I will gladly do it.  There was this warm, peaceful, burning feeling and I knew it was the Holy Ghost.  I still brushed it off and went about my day.  Later that evening, I was visited by a member of our bishopric and was extended the calling.  I knew for a surety that Heavenly Father was preparing me earlier in the day for the call that would later come.

As preparation for changing leaders and in an effort to reach out to each girl, I found this cute little handout from Pumpkin and a Princess.  I laminated them and put the names of the advisors who now would be working with the girls.

I am so thankful for this opportunity to get to work with such great women and to hopefully influence the lives of the girls I'm working with!!

"If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world"
          -Elaine S. Dalton

Back to School

Its back to school time!  Yay for all of us moms out there & dread for most of our kids (well, I have teenagers, sooooo...yeah!).  I teach the young women at my church.  The girls are 12-13 years old.  So as a good luck this year I put together a little treat for them!

Its just Orange Crush soda and some Hostess cupcakes.  I made a tag that said, "This year might not be a piece of cake  BUT  we know you will find a way to Crush it!  Have a great school year."  I put them in brown paper sacks like they would have taken their lunch in, you know, to keep with the theme of school, and attached the note to the outside.  Then we delivered the treats to the girls!

  They LOVED them!!!  They also loved the fact that we took time to remember them before going back to school.  I love doing little things like this!  I think they know how much we love them too when we show our interest in the things they are going through! 

Get the free Printable Here!








Today Choose Happiness

We've all had those days when we struggle.  Your life isn't how you imagined...You aren't the perfect mom or spouse, you are yelling at your kids or loosing your patience...your house is a mess and your laundry isn't folded...you don't know what to make for dinner or you just plain don't want to make it.  There are always those thoughts in the back of our minds about how we aren't measuring up to all of the "together" mom's out there.  BUT...when you stop and think about all of the good things you DO have, doesn't that just put things back into perspective a little bit?  We don't have to be perfect to be happy!  We can be grateful for what we do have and what we can do and sometimes that is enough...YOU ARE ENOUGH. 

If you are feeling like I was today, take the time to think about all of your blessings and you will find all of the beautiful reasons you have to be happy!  For today, lets choose happiness!!

Brighton 2016

This year we got the opportunity to stay up at Brighton Ski Resort in a cabin with my sister and her family.  It was just an overnight trip, but it was just what the doctor ordered!  Lots of R & R, games, laughter and some snowshoeing....and food....LOTS of food!!  Kaylie and I were the only ones in our family that had been snowshoeing before!  And we LOVE it!  It was fun to sharing something we like with the rest of our family who hadn't done it before.  I think for the most part everyone enjoyed it!  We snowshoed around Brighton on the flat part of the lake.  Cecelia had a bit of a hard time because she doesn't like to walk that far, but even she soldiered through with us having her strike a pose for a photo when she was getting a little tired!

It was a beautiful day for snowshoeing!!  The sun was out and it wasn't too cold!  What I loved most was spending time with my sister and her family, my mom, my brother-in-law's sister and her family, his mom and my cute little family.  I love the memories we make together and I hope they last a lifetime.  It's important to have memories as a family and I love making them with my crew!

No trip with my sister is complete without a group selfie!!

Sleeping baby!  Man did he ever work hard up there on Dad's back!  Cute Owen!

The scenery!  If you haven't experienced Utah in the winter...its a MUST DO!

The kids at the finish line!  They all made it!  YAY!!!

The adults have to pose too!

Love this fun family of mine!!!  If you've never been to Brighton or never snowshoed...you should!  It's a blast and something the entire family can do!!  Happy shoeing!!

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Heather

Blending Families

We are happy.  We are marrying the person with don't want to live without.  We are in love.  We are also blinded slightly by this said love!  You see, we have 3 teenage children, ages 15, 13, and 12, and 1 little, age 5.  We love them.  We love each other.  They all love each other...don't they?  Wait!!!!...They barely know each other and the new 'step' parent....this is all going to work out right...the 'happily ever after' we wanted??  Whose idea was this anyway??  I'm sure that is how many people feel.  And the thought did cross my mind!

We are not naive to the fact that we are trying to blend families with teenagers, and That.Is.Hard!  No matter how great the kids are (and ours are), it is difficult to take 2 families and make them one.  Especially in circumstances like ours...one parent lost to a horrible disease-cancer...and the other to divorce and drugs.  Our children have already been through some really difficult times.  And now, they have another challenge to handle....a blended family.

I read once that it takes 5 years to blend a family.  5 years??  That is a lifetime.  There are routines and the way they used to do it and the way you used to do it...and new roles to learn....and the hierachy of the new family....and the way discipline is handled.....and having a 2 parent household again....and traditions....and extended families....and how do you incorporate the missing parents...is anyone else feeling overwhelmed yet?  And all that comes after the marriage, but....What about where will  you live? Will they have to attend new schools?  Make new friends?  There is alot to consider when blending families.

This topic has been stressful for Rex and I to navigate through.  We have had many discussions on how we are going to handle these issues.  We had a struggle about where we were going to live.  I wanted to stay where I was and what my daughter was used to and he had promised his children that they would not have to move after their mother passed away.  It was something he felt very strongly about.  I was so conflicted with that decision.  We looked at houses in both places, but mostly closer to him.  When we found our house, I knew it was the right place for us to be.  We were under contract for another house, but that fell through when the square footage was off and they would not lower their price...so we began looking again.  When we found this house, it just felt right.  We knew this was the place we needed to be.  I'm sure it will be a blessing to all of us.  Only time will tell that!

As far as all of the other struggles for blending families, we have decided to parent together.  This may be hard in the beginning for everyone to adjust to, but we feel that we have to make decisions together and stand united so that we can be a stronger foundation for our children and so they can also see what a family unit looks like.  I'm sure there will be some struggles with this, especially when discipline is concerned, but we are going to take it day by day and then evaluate how its working for us and adjust as needed.  We have tried to incorporate a little of the old for each child both in structure and decor and then some new that pulls our new family together.

We have contact with our extended families as well as our past spouses families and we are working to build relationships with them and keep our kids as involved in those relationships as they want.  Distance is an issue, but we are working on keeping an open line of communication for all that want to be involved.  And I must say...we are so blessed.  We have some of the most caring people in our families & extended families.  We could not be happier with the support we have received.

The last thing that weighs on my mind is that if it really does take 5 years to blend a family, our children will be moved out before then.  Our oldest only has 3 years left at home before she leaves for college and is out on her own.  How I love these kids I've been blessed with to have in my family.  I hope in that short time I can develop lasting relationships and instill in them my love for each one of them.  I struggle with the fact that I will be coming into their lives during some of the most difficult times they will endure which may require some of that discipline we were just talking about.  I don't want them  to see that as punishment, but more as guidance because I care about them.  I want them to know that I love them and that I am there for them through anything they are going through.

Raising kids is hard and sometimes being a step parent is even harder!!  But we have to keep loving and keep hoping and keep trying even through those times of wanting to give up!  I have to think there will be some of those days for all of us out there!  Our 'Happily Ever After' can come though, through hard work, prayer and persistence.  I'm grateful for this new family and look forward to the new adventures together!